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Erma Bingo

By January Gordon Ornellas

After attending her first Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, January Gordon Ornellas created an Erma Bingo game. Play along! (Best viewed on a computer; download card here.)

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You can’t believe how great the speakers are. Also, the tiny quiches. Seriously, they’re really tasty.


Your mantra for the first night, “Stop being a weirdo and go talk to someone,” pays off.


You eat your chocolate cake before dinner because that’s what Cathy would do.


You experience “Robe Envy” for the first time in your life.

You spend a good amount of the conference staring at writers’ belly buttons.


You finally meet Teri Rizvi, and discover that “Live Teri” is as awesome as “Virtual Teri.”


You don’t respond to texts for 3 days because, PEOPLE, I’M AT ERMA!


After hearing Adriana’s shampoo/conditioner debacle, you’re on high alert during shower time.


You learn that Laraine + bodily functions = Good Times!




You’re already counting the days until ERMA 2024.

You propose bottling Leighann’s laugh as a parting gift.


Your cup runneth’ over from all the love. Also, literally. This staff knows how to pour a glass of wine.


You place bets on Dinner #3. Spoiler Alert: It was beef. I think.


You applaud the 20 brave and talented comedians that performed stand-up.



You love this conference! Love, love, love, love, love this conference! Love it! Love every sensational, stellar, eye-opening, audience-uplifting moment!

— January Gordon Ornellas

January Gordon Ornellas is a comedy writer whose stories include everything from colonoscopies to triathlons (equally torturous). Her article, “Rookie’s Triathlon Lessons,” appeared in the LA Times (June 2019). Two of her other stories, “Gobble, Gobble” and “Almost Taken,” were recently published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Laughter is the Best Medicine (April 2020), and another four can be found in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Too Funny! (April 2022). She won honorable mention in the global humor category in the 2022 Erma Bombeck Writing Competition and is currently working on a book, Confessions of a Crazy Softball Mom. January also enjoys writing for her blog (, traveling and spending time with her husband and two adult daughters.

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