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February 26, 2024
Becoming a Swiftie Dad—and other skills I've learned
Having raised three daughters, I’ve gained, in the words of Liam Neeson, “a very particular set of skills.” Unfortunately, none of these skills would be useful in the event of an international kidnapping.
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February 25, 2024
Not Exactly Fast Food

I am out to lunch. This is especially true when I make lunch.

That’s because, in my incapable hands, organizing the second meal of the day takes so long that I am surprised I haven’t starved to death by now.

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February 25, 2024
Erma Made Me Do It!
If you’ve attended the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, you know that its vibe is inspirational — and magical. We want to hear your real-life success stories.
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February 18, 2024
The Oak's on Me

I know I am going out on a limb by saying this, but in our yard, everything happens in trees.

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February 16, 2024
Pride Goeth Before the Fall Parent–Teacher Conference

“Lindsey is a pleasure to have in class,” my daughter’s third grade teacher began as I wriggled myself into a chair the size of a kumquat seed. “She enjoys interacting with her classmates and is an enthusiastic addition to our group.” This, as every parent knows, is teacher code for, “only stops talking long enough to sneak a Very Berry Gummy Cluster.”

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February 16, 2024
A Good Day's Work
It was Monday again, and I turned on Arthur Brooks and Oprah’s audiobook Building the Life You Want for a pep talk on my morning commute. Work is a pillar of happiness, they told me. Bring on the bliss.
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February 16, 2024
Funeral Notes
I think, if honest, we would admit that our funeral is our final opportunity to host; but sadly, the details of this important event are often left in the hands of amateurs.
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February 15, 2024
Heart and Sole
The first time we met, Pat gave me her shoes.
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February 15, 2024
Heart and Sole

The first time we met, Pat gave me her shoes.

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February 15, 2024
You Can Write!

The winners of the 2024 Erma Bombeck Writing Competition, sponsored by the Washington-Centerville Public Library, touched the judges' funny bones and hearts with humorous and poignant essays ranging from a hilarious conversation between a parent and teacher in “the parent-teacher conference” to a cherished friendship that started with a pair of sandals.

 

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