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10 Ways to be a Respectful Sister

By Drue Wagner

(Drue Wagner, book designer and illustrator for Sisters! Bonded by Love and Laughter, was inspired to contribute these tips in honor of her older sister, Erin. She assures you that these are nothing to do with real life. Nothing at all.)

  1. Make your sister laugh so hard she spits her milk (or wine) all over the table, or worse, chokes on her spaghetti. Save the day by giving her the Heimlich.
  2. Blast “Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover” by Sophie B. Hawkins at house parties and dance your butts off, even if no one else seems to get it. Bonus points if you use the same arm movements as your sister.
  3. Pay the entry fee to your sister’s locked bedroom: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups that you must make yourself.
  4. Honor her endlessly fascinating love life by crafting an origami diorama depicting her adolescent love triangles: your sister on a boat, deciding between two boys waiting on shore.
  5. When your sister tells you to watch Urban Cowboy, you do. Watch it again. Repeat until you can both recite every line…and two-step. All hail Debra Winger!
  6. When the grouchy old dude behind you shouts “Sit down!!” while you’re dancing with your sister at a Paul McCartney concert, turn around and yell “Have some fun you old jack-o-lantern!” (your dad’s favorite insult).
  7. Pull off her cowboy boots for her when she’s pooped from partying. (There’s a lot of dancing with sisters if you haven’t picked up on that; you should stretch.)
  8. When your sister’s mad at a boyfriend, make up nonsense, such as “I’m adding him to the ‘bozos’ in the kick-ass jar” while playing “It’s Alright” by Fleetwood Mac. Repeat as needed.
  9. Have each other’s backs. No exceptions.
  10. Tell your sister how much she rules…right now. She will be picking up the phone to call you already.

— Drue Wagner

Drue Wagner is an Austin-based graphic designer and illustrator. She got her start at the design firm, Pentagram, in Austin, then spent over 10 years at various publications in New York including GQ, Bon Appetit and the Wall Street Journal. Happy to be back in Austin (where her sister also resides), she is currently freelancing, swimming whenever she can, and always looking for quirky characters and scenes to draw.

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