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By Rachel Grise

In the history of the world, no parent has ever come back from giving their teenager The Talk and said, “That was great!” The conversation is so miserable even God was like, “I can’t. Sorry. You just need to leave the garden.” The thing is though, like a lot of stuff in this world right now, The Talk has changed. Though still necessary, it’s definitely different than when I was 16. 

When my son returned from his girlfriend’s house one night, I knew my time had come. 

As I approached, I coughed nervously and said, “So, kiddo, looks like things are getting pretty serious between you and your girlfriend.” 

My son shrugged at me, his shoulders letting me know it was no big deal, but the big stupid smile on his face revealing it was very much a big deal. 

“Anything you want to talk about?” 

His smile vanished. “No.” 

“I’m only asking because…I want to make sure you’re being safe.” 

“MOM!” 

“Well, are you?” 

He plopped down on the couch and grumbled as if he had to dig up the words and push them to the surface. 

“Yes, we’re being careful. We spend time outside and don’t go anywhere too crowded.”

“Good to know,” I said. He attempted an escape, but I stopped him. “And have you discussed vaccination status?” 

“Yes, Mom. We’re both double vaccinated, okay?” 

“Okay,” I replied. I knew I was pushing my luck, but I had to ask, “Have you two spent any time together…unmasked?” 

“JEEZ, MOM!” His body recoiled and his face twisted in imaginary pain. “What are you even talking about?”  

“I’m talking about protection. Anyone can get Covid, whether you’re vaccinated or not. And you can’t tell just by looking at someone. You need to know if they’ve been around someone with Covid. You need to know if they’ve been sick. You need to know if they have a fever, a cough, even a runny nose. And if you’re not ready to have these conversations, then you’re not ready to go unmasked.” 

“Okay. I get it,” he said in that exhausted teenage tone that makes me want to shake him a little. Then he stood up, hugged me, and flew up the stairs before I started in on N95s and hand sanitizer. 

All in all, it wasn’t horrible. 

Several months later, we knew it was time for another Talk. My husband drew the short straw on that one. As he closed our son’s door behind him, I heard him cough nervously and say, “So, kiddo, looks like things are getting pretty serious between you and your girlfriend.” 

It’s good to know some things will never change. 

— Rachel Grise

Rachel Grise is an amazing wife and a perfect mother to three impeccable children. She’s idolized by all her friends and considered a woman of great wisdom by most of the parents in the PTO. She is often called charming, sophisticated and lovely. She is also the writer of this bio and can say whatever she wants! When Rachel is not living in fantasy land, she is writing. Her work has been published in various journals, blogs and websites, most notably on BlogHer.com. She is currently working on a romantic comedy, which so far, has only given her indigestion.