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As a celebrity public figure blogger I have the responsibility to give back to my fans readers family. And I take that responsibility seriously.

Here you go.

How to prevent a torn rotator cuff:

1. If you are over the age of 50, do not go to a Trampoline Park with your children and act like you are 16 again.

2. Stay away from balance beams. Especially those that are no wider than dental floss.

3. If you happen to find yourself on a balance beam the width of dental floss, attempt to hold onto the loops suspended from the ceiling. They are there to help you maintain your balance.

4. If, when you grab for one of the loops, it begins to swing like a pendulum, be patient. Wait until it returns to the center, or at least within reach, before attempting to grab it again.

5. If attempting to grab for the loop causes you to further lose your balance, simply fall into the pond beneath the balance beam. It is full of foam bricks. That prevent injury.

6. If, when falling, you lack the wherewithal to aim for the pond of foam bricks, do now throw your body backwards, toward the edge of the foam-filled pond. It is made of cement. Not foam.

7. If you fall backwards toward the cement edge of the foam-filled pond, do not put your arm out to break your fall.

8. If you put an arm out to break your fall as you are headed backward toward the cement edge of your foam-filled pond and you are left handed, put out your right hand.

9. If you are left handed and fall off a balance beam onto the cement edge of a foam-filled pond and break your fall with your damn left hand, go home. Do not move on to the Ninja Warrior Obstacle course.

10. Ignore your husband when he says, "I told you so."

But then again, ignoring your husband when he says, "I told you so," may not be the best advice.

You will need him to drive you to your MRI (because you can't drive under the influence of Valium). And you're really going to need him after the surgery. You'll be in a sling for six weeks.

And there's no way you can open a bottle of wine with just one hand.

When your husband says, "I told you so," smile and say, "You're right, honey."

- Lou Clyde

Lou Clyde, whose car has "NERDLING" vanity plates, has been publishing Notes from a Nerdling since 2009. She has also authored the play, "Heck the Dolls with Chardonnay," which will be staged later this year in Columbia, South Carolina. By day, Lou is the director of customer insights and analysis at a South Carolina energy company.