From pain to purpose

It was my heart on a PowerPoint slide. My deepest pain. And, I hoped, my purpose.

I steadied my voice as I presented to the panel of three judges for the University’s Flyer Pitch competition on why Dayton needs a nonprofit to educate the community about the emotional impact of miscarriage.

I was allowed just one slide to convince them. Mine held stark data:

When women experience miscarriage, 47% feel guilty, 41% feel alone and 28% feel ashamed, according to one study.

I know those emotions well. I experienced them for years as I endured four miscarriages. Despite extensive testing, doctors could never find a reason for my recurrent losses.

They were pregnancies of “unknown location” — a type of dangerous ectopic pregnancy that added physical risk to the heavy emotional toll.

I studied the emotions, too. Trying to turn my pain into purpose, I dedicated my UD master’s studies to understanding this loss. In the academic literature, I found my own reality reflected back at me: women blindsided by the intensity of their grief and isolated by a world that didn’t know how to respond. It isn’t just a pregnancy we lose. As counselor Sharon Wise notes, it is a toddler, a kindergartner, a graduate. It is a whole timeline that vanishes in an instant.

I won $500 from the first round of the Flyer Pitch nonprofit track. It wasn’t a fortune, but it was everything. That money covered the startup costs — filing fees, website hosting, the basics. It helped me turn my idea into reality.

“But when I look back at how this started — from a place of sorrow to a thesis paper to a pitch competition and finally to a functioning nonprofit — I see the fingerprints of the University of Dayton everywhere.”

I started Miscarriage Support Dayton to provide the education I couldn’t find during my own losses. While my doctors were excellent at monitoring the physical risks, the emotional fallout was completely ignored. The nonprofit also connects families with counselors who specialize in this unique grief — removing the burden of hunting for help while heartbroken — and offers a small grant for people in Dayton who don’t have mental health insurance coverage.

As the UD community helped me launch, they also helped me grow. A team of four communication undergraduates in Kelly Vibber’s PR Campaigns course — Haley Reid, Audrey Alloto, Elisabeth Gromofsky and Jordyn Boron — partnered with me to amplify the nonprofit’s work. They placed the educational pamphlets into more doctors’ offices, secured media coverage and organized a webinar with three local counselors to discuss the mental health toll of miscarriage.

The counselors noted that once you experience loss, you may never have an anxiety-free pregnancy again. You hold your breath until the baby is safe in your arms.

They also dismantled the myth that grief is a straight line. They pointed out a painful contrast: When a baby is born, communities rally with meal trains and cards. But when a pregnancy is lost, that support is often absent. Friends and family often try to “fix” the pain with platitudes because they care, not realizing that what a woman might really need is someone to simply sit with her in the dark. And how a simple text saying, “I’m thinking of you, no need to respond,” can be a lifeline.

We talked about how families don’t “get over” these losses; they carry them. And the goal isn’t erasure, but finding a way to live with the experience so it isn’t detrimental to your future.

There is still much more to do, to reach more doctors’ offices and expand the list of counselors identified for their passion in helping families through this loss. But when I look back at how this started — from a place of sorrow to a thesis paper to a pitch competition and finally to a functioning nonprofit — I see the fingerprints of the University of Dayton everywhere. I see the Marianist spirit of community and service. And I am grateful.

I started this work to help others, but in truth, it has been a profound part of my own healing.

I learned pain does not have to be the end of our story. We don’t have to carry grief alone. And thanks to the support I found right here at UD, fewer families in Dayton will have to.

Illustration by Dan Zettwoch.

A version of this article appears in print in the Spring 2026 University of Dayton Magazine, Page 62. EXPLORE THE ISSUE — MORE ONLINE