When I first started teaching, I thought that was the best on-the-job training for my stand-up comedy. At the end of the school year, a whole new batch of students came along who had never heard my routine.
Then I retired. No more captive audiences. Where to try out my puns, jokes and funny scenarios? My husband had grown immune to my humor. I meandered down the aisles of Walmart with my list of jokes. Customers alerted security.
That’s when I discovered the nearby French Lick Resort needed volunteer tour guides. Immediately, I signed up for my chance to perform in front of a live audience. The Indiana Landmarks director asked me if I wanted the script for the hotel at French Lick or West Baden. I replied, “Both!”
After conducting my first couple of historical tours by the script, I detected a loophole. Guides could add their own personal touch. In fact, we were encouraged to do so. I dispensed all the historical details, of course, and sprinkled in some humor for any visitors listening.
Here are three skills as a tour guide that develop my talents in stand-up.
I work with a variety of age levels. My groups consist of senior citizens, toddlers and teenagers, all at once. I learned to speak slowly, use simple words and constantly move…and that’s with the teenagers. When a joke produces a laugh with everyone, I know it’s a keeper.
I read the audience quickly. A variety of personalities walk through the hotel doors, but you can get a laugh from anyone. I use this “rule of three” scenario. I start by telling about a past hotel owner who lived in a mansion, which is located by the new Dairy Queen. Then I tell how the owner kept his circus animals in old barns. which are next to Dairy Queen. About 10 minutes later, I point to a vintage photograph of a local historical building and ask, “You know Dairy Queen?” Everyone usually nods. A few roll their eyes. I announce, “This building. Not by Dairy Queen.” I get a laugh every time.
I pretend that everything I say is new. After over 400 tours, I still am excited when each sightseeing bus rolls up to the hotel. The group has not heard what I am about to say. Sometimes, I’m not even sure what I will say. I consistently stop at the grandfather clock in the lobby. The clock’s hands are frozen at 12:30. When I glance at the time, I appear puzzled and check my watch. I inform the group that the clock must be broken and say, “At least the clock has the correct time twice a day.”
When you’re in southern Indiana, come take a tour with me. We could try out our stand-up comedy even if we’re sitting down.
— Glenda Ferguson
Glenda Ferguson, of Paoli, Indiana, volunteers for two historical hotels at the French Lick Resort, which gave her lots of experience to perform stand-up at the 2024 Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop Stand-Up Comedy Night. Her most recent stories can be found in Animal Mayhem and Chicken Soup for the Soul: Miracles and Wonders.