After several weeks of elaborate celebrations and ceremonies, my youngest and quietest daughter recently graduated from high school — but she didn’t graduate from using my credit card to purchase expensive specialty drinks like boba tea.
I’m still not 100% sure what boba tea is, but I enjoy telling her that those tapioca ball-type thingies look like a well-fed rabbit mistook her drink for a tiny bunny potty.
My wife and I graduated from high school in the late 1980s — when the girls were the ones with big hair. Back then, graduation from high school really didn’t seem like such a huge deal. We had graduation practice, when the school principal and counselors threatened to confiscate all of our acid-washed clothing if we attempted to actually have fun during the ceremony. Then we graduated, followed by a party that probably included Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” played on a constant loop. (Good luck getting that ear wedgie out of your head for the next week.)
In contrast, the high school graduation celebration for our daughter has been an ordeal spanning almost her entire senior year and involving multiple senior recognition events, a senior prank day, a senior “skip” day (on a day they had no classes), a senior college day, painting a senior parking space, a senior retreat, a senior prom, three to four senior photo shoots, several graduation parties involving mostly the same people, and, somehow, she managed to cram in an actual commencement ceremony.
(By the way, many of these events have required my wife and me to compile and deliver baby/growing-up photos and compose parental blessing messages telling our daughter how much we’ve enjoyed raising her, while slowly realizing that we’ll never be able to retire.)
But it didn’t end there! Since graduating, our daughter has already managed to attend not one, but two weeklong summer camps, likely in an attempt to avoid cleaning her room at home. And each of those camps has included, you guessed it, a senior celebration that obligated me to attend and even put on pants outside of business hours.
Then, if all of that wasn’t exhaustipating enough, there is the senior trip. Somewhere along the way, many seniors have adopted an imaginary tradition in which their parents take them on an expensive vacation to an exotic location that often necessitates plane tickets, passports and new clothing (because they wouldn’t be caught dead going through TSA in that outdated stuff we purchased in late April). It’s as if they want to give Mom and Dad one last chance to spend quality time (and cash) with them before they spread their wings to become independent adults who only rely on their parents for food, clothing, housing, transportation, college tuition, etc. How thoughtful!
Seriously, though, my wife and I have learned a hard truth in the adage that “the days and credit card bills are long, but the years are short.” Amid our pride and love, we felt a tangible sense of finality as we watched the youngest of our three daughters walk across the graduation stage in her regalia and new shoes we purchased specifically for this one occasion. At that point, all vestiges of her childhood were truly gone, and her entrance into adulthood had begun.
Now, if I can just get her to clean her room.
— Jase Graves
Jason (Jase) Graves is a national award-winning humor columnist, a married father of three daughters, a lifelong resident of Longview, Texas, and a Texas A&M Aggie. He writes about home and family issues from a humorous perspective for the Cagle Cartoons syndicate and his blog. Other than writing, his primary hobby is sleeping as late as possible. His winning Nickie’s Prize for Humor Writing essay, “The Sisterhood of the Giggling Rants,” is included in Sisters! Bonded by Love and Laughter, published by the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop. His piece, “Victoria’s Worst-Kept Secret,” is included in Chicken Soup for the Soul: My Crazy Family.