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By Dean Norman

I never gave much thought to living to be 100 until I hit 90. Then I realized it was possible that I might live to be 100. Then what? Should I try to think of something clever to say when people ask what is my secret? Or should I just be humble, and say I am lucky and it’s no big deal?        

Do I want a cake with 100 candles, or just one big candle? Do I want to be in a nursing home or assisted-living facility, and have all the staff and other old people celebrating my birthday? Will I have any choice in the matter? Probably not.

And then after 100, what? Do I shoot for 110 or 120? Or shoot the moon and go for forever? Just kidding. I know that nobody lives forever. Well, I probably don’t have to worry about this. The odds of actually getting from 93 to 100 are pretty slim. I really just hope for a death that is unexpected, quick and not scary or painful.

Just to make it interesting and not too depressing, I would like to have a beer with another old guy and make a bet. I say to George…

Me: I am 93 and you are 92. Let’s make a bet on who gets to 100 first.

George: That’s a sucker bet. Of course you will get to 100 first because you are a year older than me.

Me: Not necessarily. I might die before I get to 100, and then you will pass me and get to 100 before I do.

George: Well, we might both die before 100, and then who will collect the bet?

Me: Nobody. But it will give us something to live for. We will try to hang in there to win the bet.

George: OK. How much do you want to bet?

Me: I don’t know. Not too much. But enough to make it interesting. Maybe $20. Maybe $50. Maybe just the cost of a dinner at a nice restaurant.                        

I have these imaginary conversations with old friends often these days. Most of my old friends are not around anymore, so, sadly, I can’t talk to them directly.

— Dean Norman

Dean Norman is a cartoonist and humor writer, whose work has appeared in greeting cards,The New Yorker, MAD Magazine, The Cleveland Plain Dealer Sunday Magazine and The Kansas City Star. He's also written comedy for cartoon shows and written and illustrated children's books. He illustrated a cartoon book for Cleveland Metroparks, Cleveland Metroparks Adventures.