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By Jessica Miller

When Facebook debuted in 2004, I was sure it would be a short-lived sensation and decided to opt out. Facebook appealed to true Gen Xers because we could send our thoughts out into the world without actually having to talk to anyone, but the invention of the comment section killed that joy by allowing the world to send back their thoughts on our thoughts. In addition, posting to Facebook went against the Gen X Code: it’s none of your business what I am doing, and I really don’t care what you are doing either. Therefore, if you are reading this in search of an influencer or a follower, you may want to look elsewhere.

Fast forward ten years, and my no Facebook approach was working even better than 2004 me could have anticipated. Not only did it keep me out of all the online mommy drama, but my middle-schooler thought I was cool because “Facebook is for old people.” I lost the coveted Cool Mom status almost instantly by requesting a hard copy of an instruction booklet for my first smartphone, but I digress.

Pushing ahead a few more years, tracking one’s children via cell phone became the next weapon in the parenting arsenal. Much to the dismay of the Facebook Mommy Mafia, I skipped out on this trend as well. I connected to my teenagers the way my mother connected to me: I asked them where they were going and trusted their responses. In defense of Gen X, for most of the eighties our mothers had only the vaguest idea of where we were and who we were with. The mothers did their best to set our moral compass at a young age, and they trusted us not to get into any more trouble than we could get out of on our own. What did our mothers do all day? We had no idea. One of them could (and frequently did) appear at any moment, and it was the fear of this unpredictable network of moms that kept us in line most of the time. My kids all seemed bright enough for this Gen X parenting style, plus I had the bonus feature of sending them random texts if their behavior seemed suspicious.

Wondering if my kids ever pulled one over on me? Probably. Do I want to know about it? Absolutely not. They seem to enjoy sharing the details of their lives with me. Besides, if there is something they don’t want me to know, they can always post it on Facebook.

—Jessica Miller

Jessica Miller is a mom who still prefers to stay home even though her chicks have left the nest. This is her first entry in the Erma Bombeck Writers' Competition and it received an honorable mention in the local humor category.