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By Beth Broderick

To the Doctors and Care Staff at M.A.S.H Animal Hospital:

I am heartbroken with the loss of my big, beautiful dog Roxy, but I am very grateful for your kind and thorough treatment. I could never let her go if there was a way for her to heal, and your diligence in determining the cause of her failing health is greatly appreciated. As I sat in room 4, holding my girl and telling her how much I loved her, I heard a woman in the hall complaining about the cost of your care and wondering if, in the end, it would be worth it. 

I want to reassure you that it was.

I knew something was changing as she began to have difficulty swallowing. Her vet chalked it up to her very old age, and so did I. She was still happy, and we were coping. I soaked her food and mashed it into a fine texture so that she could swallow it and eat her beloved meals. She was so full of spirit and life that I decided to give her every great experience that I could. She adored her dog buddies and looked forward to our adventures, but mostly she loved snuggling with me on the sofa and cuddling in the bed. 

When I brought my Roxy to you on Tuesday, she was too weak to take our morning walk and had lost her notoriously voracious appetite. The night before she was listless, and even my loving touch could not bring her comfort. I held onto hope that this was a separate incident. Perhaps something she ate or drank, so I did everything for her that I knew to do for her and then turned to you. 

By giving her fluids and medications, you brought her back to me, so that we could say our goodbyes. She felt my love and enjoyed my caresses as she sat on my lap on her final day, and she was grateful for our visitation hour the night before. She knew hospitals, having been through heartworm treatment and rawhide poisoning. She understood that you are the folks we turn to to fix things. To help her heal. She did not resent her time in your care, nor did I.

I had the privilege of welcoming her into my home when she was eight years old. Some folks would say that is too late to teach a dog how to live inside, how to walk on a leash, control her prey drive, and focus her energies. However, she proved them all wrong. It was not easy because she had no experience outside of being kept in a yard, but she loved her new life and worked hard to learn. 

She became known in my world for her remarkable poise and sweet, sweet soul. 

“She looks at you with so much love,” a woman recently remarked to me at the checkout counter at Koontz hardware, one of our favorite haunts. 

“I love her too,” I said. “She’s my girl.” I winked at Rox, and we both smiled.

Deciding to let her go was the hardest thing — the most gut wrenching thing — I have ever done, but I trusted you all to guide me, and you did so with gentle kindness. I am still grieving … I can barely get through my tear-soaked days, but the memory of her offers me some comfort.

You are in the business of saving lives, and inevitably you encounter some which cannot continue. Those of us who bring our pets to you do so under dire circumstances. We must rely on your strength and trust your wisdom. You do a job that most of us could not do, and all of you do it well. Each of you each gave my great-hearted girl a piece of your own heart, and I am ever grateful.

Yours truly,

Beth Broderick
… forever Roxy’s Mom. 

Beth is an actor, writer, model and chef. She can bring the funny and the pie. Read more of her writing at bethbroderick.substack.com.