Senior Mary Yablonski has not known UD without grief.

Her mother was diagnosed with cancer before Yablonski started her first year in fall 2023 and died just days before Christmas.

Yablonski’s friendly and open disposition, though, wouldn’t give away the grief she carries. She credits this to the people she’s found at UD, particularly her friends and roommates, who have provided care and consistency through the most challenging period of her life.

“I’m very blessed to have everything that I do,” she said. “All of my roommates, they’re my best friends. … They’re a really good support system.”

How they met

Yablonski and her roommates all met through mutual friends, classes, residence halls or intramural sports during their first year. They came from different places, with varying perspectives, and their majors span the College of Arts and Sciences and the School of Engineering.

The roommates deepened their friendship through what senior psychology major Kaylee Scott sees as very UD — trust and vulnerability in spite of differences. Yablonski shared with her future housemates about her mother’s death, and that openness allowed them to form community quickly and deeply.

It is because of, not in spite of, their differences that they care so much for one another.

“We share a sense of humanity together, and I absolutely adore each one of them,” Scott said, calling their bond a sisterhood. “It’s just so special that UD has brought me to them, because if I went anywhere else, my life would be so different, and I might not have this support group.

“I know Mary’s talked about how much we supported her, but vice versa — she’s always been there for us when we need it.”

Supporting one another

When Scott was experiencing migraines from a medication change, it was Yablonski and other roommates who kept snacks by her side and an ice pack in the freezer. And when Scott was spooked in the middle of the night while house-sitting in a new place, Yablonski talked her through the anxiety until she could finally settle and fall asleep.

“It’s just so special that UD has brought me to them, because if I went anywhere else, my life would be so different, and I might not have this support group.”

Scott said whenever one of them is feeling down or low, the others are present by their sides, not to comfort or lift spirits, but to offer a steady presence when the rest of the world feels unstable.

From grief to celebration

So when Yablonski wanted to celebrate her mother’s first heavenly birthday in 2024, they enthusiastically obliged. Yablonski’s mom, Beth, loved the movie Mamma Mia!, and the roommates watched it together in her honor.

The next year, Yablonski asked if they could celebrate Beth’s birthday by eating her favorite food, french fries. The roommates agreed and, when the day came, had Yablonski sit back as they fanned out to buy fries from seven restaurants. When they came home, they presented a platter of fries arranged charcuterie style, complete with dips and sauces.

“They took the liberty to do it themselves and didn’t want me to worry about it,” Yablonski said, noting that she was feeling the weight of financial instability and emotional grief at the time. “It’s nice to be seen and valued. [They had] never even met my mom, but they’re still celebrating her, which I think is really, really sweet.”

When she’s ready to celebrate her mom again this year, she knows exactly who will be at the party — a loving and unwavering Flyer family.

Photos by Sylvia Stahl ’18