Quotable quotes

On writing:

“I am my job. It is the best of me. I am only alive when I’m producing. I am still in awe of a profession that begins with a blank sheet of paper and when I have filled it, it goes out to countries I have never seen, is read by people I have never met, and brings about laughter or tears from persons I cannot hear. It is an enigma, and I feel flattered to be an instrument.” (March 5, 1991, response to Helen Gurley Brown, editor of Cosmopolitan, for a proposed book)

On motivation:

“My favorite expression comes from a song in a musical, Pippin. It is sung by the restless, full-of-life-ready-to-take-risks son of Charlemagne who said, ‘Can’t you see, I want my life to be something more — than just long.’ I feel that way.” (Dec. 21, 1992, response to Joseph E. Neely for an inspirational book about the favorite sayings of successful people)

On her beat:

“I was given a forum in 1965 for what seemed harmless enough … a column to chronicle the women who spent their days picking lint off of socks and taking knots out of shoestrings with their teeth that a child had wet on all day long.” (May 10, 1981, speech stumping for the Equal Rights Amendment in Missouri)

“I never throw away an observation. I gather them in airports, beauty shops, waiting for traffic lights and in darkened movie houses and squirrel them away. Just reporting the way people act, talk and look is enough without any help from me.”

On finding material:

“I never throw away an observation. I gather them in airports, beauty shops, waiting for traffic lights and in darkened movie houses and squirrel them away. Just reporting the way people act, talk and look is enough without any help from me.” (July 17, 1991, response to interview questions from Alea Cooke Pena, publications editor for Taylor Talk, a magazine for student journalists)

On her readers:

“I am writing for women who for the first time in their lives are allowed to admit they have ambivalent feelings toward their children. Putting down (toilet) lids is not a religious experience. The women of this country were revving up for a revolution to seek change.” (May 10, 1981, speech stumping for the Equal Rights Amendment in Missouri.)

“The ERA is not going to give you a better sex life. It won’t improve your smile. It is about justice.”

On equality:

“The ERA is not going to give you a better sex life. It won’t improve your smile. It is about justice.” (Dec. 30, 1979, interview in St. Louis Post-Dispatch, “Erma Bombeck: Fighter With Light Touch”)

On the five books every child should read:

“1) Tom Sawyer … to know that flaws are normal; 2) To Kill a Mockingbird … to see prejudice so they know they never want to see it again; 3) Alice in Wonderland … to know fantasy and all its wonders; 4) Anything by Judy Blume … to know that contemporary parents do understand them and their pain; and 5) At my house, any cookbook … which is essential to their very survival.” (March 9, 1991, response to Jean Evans, senior editor of Redbook)

On the book that made the greatest difference in her life:

“Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. It brought to life feelings within me that were dormant up until then. I read the book while I was sitting in the suburbs sorting socks and snapping beans and wondering if that was what I was supposed to be doing for the rest of my life. After reading the words of the gifted Anne Morrow Lindbergh, I realized that I had to take control of my life.” (June 3, 1992, response to Leni Ruiz, a freelance writer and graduate student researching the importance of literacy)

“When you treat dreams like a fragile piece of glass to be taken out of a box occasionally and admired, it will stay only that … just a dream. To make it a reality, you have to use it (it’s really tough) and take risks. You are better than you think you are.”

On dreams:

“When you treat dreams like a fragile piece of glass to be taken out of a box occasionally and admired, it will stay only that … just a dream. To make it a reality, you have to use it (it’s really tough) and take risks. You are better than you think you are.” (Feb. 27, 1989, letter to the women students of South Mountain Community College)

On finding humor:

“Humor makes it so you can survive. To find humor in tragedy is finding the flower in the desert.” (May 10, 1981, St. Joseph News-Press, on Bombeck’s commencement address at Benedictine College)