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Campus Ministry

My Grandpa and UD: Guides to Mary

By Devon James

Growing up, I didn’t have much of a relationship with Mary. I learned that, in the Catholic tradition, she is the Mother of God and she has an important role in the life of the Catholic Church, but other than that I didn’t think much of her. But after studying at a Marianist institution, and a little guidance from my grandpa, my relationship with Mary has developed into a strong bond of love and support.

The desire to grow in my devotion to Mary came to me before I knew I was coming to the University of Dayton. But I wasn’t sure what it would look like. To be honest, Mary seemed a little intimidating to me at first. I mean she is the Mother of God after all. But, as I’ve learned more about her, she has become less intimidating and more relatable; she has become a comforting figure to me. This desire to grow in my devotion to Mary came out of an unexpected place: the death of my grandpa.

My mom’s father was a very devout and holy man. He raised five children in the Catholic faith, was married to his wife for 57 years, and prayed the Rosary and attended daily Mass often. I always knew my grandpa was a faithful person, but I didn’t know everything about his faithfulness. During the eulogy at his funeral Mass in December 2017, I learned of a moment between him and Mary that really changed everything for me. Due to all the emotions I was feeling during the eulogy, I didn’t catch the whole story, so later I asked my mom to explain it to me.

 My parents had a hard time conceiving children, so my grandpa, being the prayerful man that he was, prayed that they would have children. One night, Mary appeared to him in a dream and said “it is done.” A few days later, my parents told him and my grandma that they were expecting me.

That story still gives me chills every time I think about it. Ever since hearing it for the first time, I’ve felt a deeper appreciation for Mary and her role in my life. I wanted to grow my relationship with her, considering she foretold about my coming into the world, but it took me about a year to really reflect and work on my relationship with Mary. Studying and working at a Marianist university like UD has given me many opportunities to reflect on Mary’s role in my life. Through learning about her fiat and the courage she had to say “yes” to God’s will, she has inspired me to say “yes” to God’s will in my own life.

Last year, I decided to do a Marian Consecration, which means that you consecrate yourself to Jesus through Mary by praying every day for 33 days, the final day being a Marian feast day of your choice. I decided to do mine in time for the Immaculate Conception. So starting in November, I prayed using the 33 Days to Morning Glory book written by Father Michael Gaitley. One of my friends was also doing this at the same time as me (we did not plan that) so it was nice to walk on this spiritual journey with her. But after I finished the Consecration, I didn’t do much to foster my relationship with Mary.

A few months after I finished my consecration, I was still searching for ways to feel connected to Mary. So I began praying to her more often, asking for her intercession, and picturing her in my mind as I had prayerful conversations with her. I picture her welcoming me in her warm embrace, as my own mother did when I was a child. This image became a comfort for me as I continued to pray to her during difficult times and happy times. Eventually, my relationship with Mary was so strong that I became more comfortable praying to her than to God. Her motherly presence is more familiar to me than the often-used fatherly imagery of God. To this day, when I picture a figure to speak to in prayer, Mary is the first to appear in my mind.

A few months ago as I was reflecting on my journey with Mary, I came back to the story of my grandpa seeing her in his dream all those years ago. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that my grandpa has been guiding me closer to Mary. I committed to attend UD for grad school a few months after he passed away, and I like to think he had a hand in guiding me to that decision. I continue to believe that my grandpa is looking down on me, showing me the beauty of having a relationship with Mary.

In my office, I have a picture of him, my sister, and me on the porch of the family cottage from the summer I spent living with him. I cherish those days spent with him, and wish I had asked him more about his faith and his relationship with Mary. But some things aren’t meant to be, and I hope that my grandpa will continue to show me the joy of a relationship with Mary as I grow in my own relationship with her. I’m thankful for the journey I’ve taken in getting to know Mary over the past year and a half in grad school here at UD, and I look forward to continuing to grow my devotion to Mary in the years to come.

“May the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit be glorified in all places through the Immaculate Virgin Mary.”

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