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By Dean Norman

This cartoon, published on a Hallmark card in 1958, shows bar owner Randal Kelly and Sam Van Meter. At closing time Kelly would say, “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”

On St. Patrick's Day, Sam went straight from work to Kelly’s. He bought a case of cold beer, and put it under a table. After dinner John and Katie, John and Nancy, and Bette and me arrived. Now we were set to celebrate St. Pat’s Day. All the tables and bar stools were full. The neighborhood bar filled with standing-room-only patrons, and a crowd grew outside. People bought drinks from bars on the other side of the street, and sang Irish songs along with us insiders.

Randal Kelly was an immigrant from Ireland. Never lost his accent. Hired new immigrants from Ireland as bartenders until they could find other work. He was co-owner of the Westport Inn. But everyone called it Kelly’s. He worked the night shift, and charmed his customers.

Kelly had a bartender who had recorded opera songs with the Kansas City Philharmonic. If you put a nickle in the juke box, and played one of George Boice’s songs, he would sing in sync with record. The city wanted Kelly to buy an entertainment license.

“I don’t pay George to sing,” Kelly said. “I pay him to tend bar. When he sings, he never stops tending bar.” It was fun to listen to George sing and watch him fill orders at the same time. He didn’t ring the cash register or make change until the song was over. If someone at the bar was talking loud, Kelly picked up a shillelagh and told the customer to shut up or leave.

One St. Patrick’s Day they ran out of glasses for draft beer. Kelly found some canning jars. People who didn’t have a case of beer under a table, and weren’t near the bar, would pass their orders to others. The drinks would be passed from the bar to them.

“If you think you might have to pee in the next half an hour, take your drink and stand in line at the biffy,” Sam warned us. “Only one for men and women. You might meet someone cute while you are in line.”

Eventually Kelly decided the St. Pat’s Day hassle wasn’t worth the profits. He closed on the holiday, so the crowds had to go somewhere else.

When Randal Kelly retired, he moved back to Ireland. His son took over the business, and now his grandsons tend the bar. The name is now Kelly’s Westport Inn. It is famous for being the first building in the Kansas City area and a trading post for people on the Santa Fe Trail. Today, Kelly’s offers entertainment, drinks and food. 

I suppose there are Irish bars in many cities that have similar traditions. I don’t think you can get a draft beer for 10 cents anymore. But singing is free, and everybody is Irish on St. Pat’s Day.

— Dean Norman

Dean Norman is a cartoonist and humor writer, whose work has appeared in greeting cards,The New Yorker, MAD Magazine, The Cleveland Plain Dealer Sunday Magazine and The Kansas City Star. He's also written comedy for cartoon shows and written and illustrated children's books. He illustrated a cartoon book for Cleveland Metroparks, Cleveland Metroparks Adventures.