Blogs

By Mary McGrath

Thanks to COVID, my mental heath has greatly improved! My preferred therapist wasn’t taking on any new clients, so I had to look for other options. After looking online, I decided to hire a robot therapist to help me with my needs, and so far I am happy with the results.

Robot therapists began last year when the pandemic hit, and so far, they’ve been enormously popular. And it was such an easy selection process! I went online and decided what I wanted. I chose the age, hair color, personality and the point of view that I wanted her to have, and boom, a few days later, I had access to a custom-made therapist.

I meet with her on Zoom, and so far she has helped me with so many nagging problems. Because she’s been artificially implanted with the right type of responses, she knows just what to say. And the good thing is that I only have to pay her a fraction of what I used to pay my regular therapist. She just requires a low monthly rental fee for me to have access to her any time of day.

So far, she has helped me make great progress with the aging process, PTSD, low self esteem and an eating disorder. I’m going to up the ante a little bit and see how she does with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia next. Maybe she can even help me with my OCD!

And I can switch psychological disciplines whenever I want! If cognitive therapy doesn’t work for me anymore, I can try Pavlov for a while. She’s also versed in Maslow, and even Freud’s point of view! I’m sure all these disciplines will give me a multi-pronged approach to solving all my psychological needs.

If my partner is ignoring me, I can get on Zoom and just give her a jingle. Insomnia? She’s right there for me. Got a job interview that I can’t handle? She’s got all the answers. Relationship issues? She knows just want to say.

Now, therapy is a breeze, and the good thing is, I can still pay my mortgage, thanks to my robot therapist.

— Mary McGrath

Mary McGrath writes from Los Angeles, and Naples, Florida. Her work has been featured in numerous publications, including Newsweek, The National Lampoon, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Purple Clover, Medium.com, Los Angeles Times and Good Housekeeping. Her motto: "Life is tough. You might as well laugh about it."