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100 Is Such a Nice Number

By Dean Norman

100 is such a nice number.

If you can do 100 push-ups or 100 sit-ups, you are really strong. 100 degrees is a really hot day. Minus 100 degrees is a really cold day. A 100 mph fastball is a really fast pitch. Presidential candidates boast about what they will do in their first 100 days if they are elected. 100 dollars is a lot of money. Well, it used to be a lot. 100 million dollars is still a lot of money.

When you are really enthusiastic about something, you give 100 percent. Some people think they are doing more if they give 200 percent. If you won the lottery, would you give 100 percent to a friend, and keep the rest for yourself ?

When a person lives 100 years he (or more often she) is asked, “What is your secret for living to be 100?” They usually say something like whiskey, tobacco, coffee, chocolate or some other vice. So think about what you will say when and if your big day for attention comes along.

But here is my suggestion for using 100 in a way that will really benefit everyone.

Let's adopt a metric calendar. 100 days in a year. 10 months in a year. 10 days in a month, 10 hours in a day, 10 minutes in an hour. Think of how it will improve your life.

You can celebrate your birthday more often. More presents and cake and ice cream. Every holiday will come around sooner. More presents and more fun days off from work.

With a 10-hour day you can't be expected to work for more than two or three hours. 10 months in a year will mean we can get rid of two months. March is muddy and November is bleak, so I vote to drop those months. A 10-minute hour will make a boring science class pass so quickly it won't hurt. A lot of people will live for 100 years and more

I ran my idea by an astronomer, and he said “What?” I actually ran by, and he didn't have to time to think much about it.

So using my knowledge of astronomy, which I have accumulated by surfing the neat stories on the Internet, I think it will be necessary to change the rotation and orbit of our planet to make 100 days in a year. That will probably change the climate also, and that could be a good thing. The way the climate is changing now is a bad thing, so we have to do something about it anyway.

I say let's get 100 percent behind this idea, tell NASA to start working on it, and make the 100-day year a reality in our lifetime. We should do that first, and then go to Mars. Making things nicer on Earth should take priority over unnecessary adventures in space.

— Dean Norman

Dean Norman is a cartoonist and humor writer, whose work has appeared in greeting cards,The New Yorker, MAD Magazine, The Cleveland Plain Dealer Sunday Magazine and The Kansas City Star. He's also written comedy for cartoon shows and written and illustrated children's books. He illustrated a cartoon book for Cleveland Metroparks, Cleveland Metroparks Adventures.

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