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Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

By Mary McGrath

As I’ve gotten older, the hair on various parts of my body has started to disappear. Thank you menopause. When I was a teenager, I was upset at seeing these tiny strands starting to sprout, and feeling obligated to shave at the age of 13.

Hair soon started sprouting everywhere, like a small forest all over my body. Over the years, deodorant took precedence, keeping certain smells at bay. Shaving, plucking and all sorts of hair-elimination strategies began. I had a brief reprieve during the '60s, when I gleefully grew the hair out under my arms and on my legs, but after that fad passed, I was back to hair-be-gone.

In my 50s, I noticed things starting to slow down. It didn’t seem like I had to shave as frequently. I saved tons of money on razor blades as the hair under my arms seemed to disappear.

And as for the hair in my nether regions? Well let’s just say I began to relive my adolescence.

I don’t mind having less hair. I don’t live in an Arctic region where hair is a necessity for survival. Now that I am down in Florida, it’s actually a relief not to have to shave anymore. It’s hot enough during the summer without an added layer of insulation.

But I do feel lucky because I have Irish eyebrows like Andy Rooney, and many of my friends have lost those as well. I guess I could give away some of the plucked hairs as birthday gifts. I’m sure many of my neighbors would line up to enjoy my generosity. It’s so more authentic than eyebrow pencil and much cheaper than an Amazon gift card.

— Mary McGrath

Mary McGrath writes from Los Angeles, and Naples, Florida. Her work has been featured in numerous publications, including Newsweek, The National Lampoon, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Purple Clover,, Los Angeles Times and Good Housekeeping. Her motto: "Life is tough. You might as well laugh about it."

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