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Sunday May 3, 2020

Reading license

I have heard that some kids who graduate from school don't know how to read.

Well, it's time to require reading licenses. We should not have people who can't read causing havoc in libraries. Here is a simple reading license test that could solve the problem.

Words are:

1. Creatures from the planet Wordzon.

2. Things that live in the ground, and robins eat them.

3. Things that are strung together in long lines to make stories.

A story is:

1. A tall bird with long skinny legs.

2. A bunch of rooms connected to another bunch of rooms by a stairway.

3. An adventure that you enjoy without actually going anywhere.

Congratulations! You are doing so well so far that you can skip the parallel parking part of the test. (Whew.) And we don't require hand signals anymore, either. You have qualified for your official reading license.

Take this test sheet to your local library to get your embossed gilt edge plastic reading license. Show it to anyone who catches you with your nose in a book and says, "Hey! What do you think you are doing?"

- Dean Norman

Dean Normanis a cartoonist and humor writer, whose work has appeared in greeting cards,The New Yorker, MAD Magazine, The Cleveland Plain Dealer Sunday MagazineandThe Kansas City Star. He's also written comedy for cartoon shows and written and illustrated children's books. He illustrated a cartoon book for Cleveland Metroparks,Cleveland Metroparks Adventures.

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