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By Linda W. Curtis

'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the Keys,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a breeze.

When down at the Marina, there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

There in the water! A sleigh on its side
with bundles of toys, all wrapped up inside

The reindeer were GONE! Not one in sight!
I knew this would be one of those nights.

Up family, Up neighbors! Get flotation of all kinds.
Santa's sleigh must be raised, Santa's still inside!

They roped the sleigh securely, tied it to the dock.
Then flipped it upright, the seat now on top.

I hauled Santa out, gave him CPR on the dock.
Push! Push! Push! 'til Santa yelled, "STOP."

"I'm fine, cough, I'm fine, but the reindeer are all gone!
I need transportation to get these gifts into town."

With that, I shouted: "Delivery must be direct.
Arise everybody! Santa's had a wreck!"

"OUT boaters, OUT fishers, Out nurses, what the heck!
OUT! Cops and the homeless, ALL FOLKS HIT THE DECK!"

So, out in great numbers the Key Westers arose
To help the soaked fat man with shiny red nose.

ALL the gifts were recovered!
The packages were all rewrapped.
So, yes, the gifts were delivered
And Christmas was not scrapped.

As for the reindeer, they flew you know where,
And dried themselves thoroughly, I knew you'd care.

— Linda W. Curtis

Linda W. Curtis is a science writer for botany and entomology journals.The humor gene often expresses itself after a session of science writing, leading to merely absurd to ridiculous stories. Laughter, she's discovered, is a great stress reducer.