Blogs

Several friends and I recently returned from separate trips. When we met for dinner to compare our experiences, they were eerily similar. Each of us had come back home physically, emotionally and financially drained. We also confessed that during our travels we'd done and said some things we regret.

Sounds like we attended bachelorette parties, right? If only! In reality, we'd embarked on a no-less-exhausting rite of passage - the college visit.

Initially, giving your gal pals a proper send-off and taking teens to tour universities appear to be two very different activities, but they actually have a lot more in common than you'd think. Hear me out.

It goes without saying that in both situations, there's a lot at stake. So brace for some diva-like behavior because emotions will run high.

Though you're not coordinating travel and accommodations for a bunch of bridesmaids, you may be dealing with an opinionated teen who, much like your average bridezilla, isn't afraid to share some "feedback." Expect to get questions like, "Why aren't we staying at the hotel with the Cinnabons?" and "It's only 11 p.m., why is the indoor pool closed? Who booked this place?!"

While you're on these jaunts, you're going to embarrass yourself (at least according to your teen). You might not be wearing tiaras or penis-shaped necklaces, but you're asking the tour guide multiple questions and, if you're visiting your alma mater, you're tearing up as you point to the hill where you and your pals used to go sledding on cafeteria trays and weeping openly when you discover that the late-night cheese fries stand is now a tanning salon. (See above about doing things you might regret.)

Though you're desperately trying to enjoy this time with your travel companion and live in the moment, a nagging voice in the back of your head keeps repeating, "How am I going to afford all this!?" (and you're not even thinking about sky-high tuition yet). Despite your best intentions to keep expenses in check, these outings always cost more than you anticipated. While you're not paying for strippers or buying rounds of shots, you're going to cough up wads of cash at the gift shop where your student will insist she needs souvenir socks ($20) and the school's signature sweatshirt ($60). In an effort to save a few bucks, you may find yourself muttering, "Are you sure you'll even get in here?"(See above about saying things you might regret.)

If your teen is anything like mine, he'll want to eat like a newborn - that means every two hours. Now add on hotels, gas, or plane tickets and rental car, etc. At this rate, you'll be lucky if you can swing the application fees once this kid narrows down his list.

Another thing about this adventure? It's going to wipe you out physically. Though you're not dancing on top of a bar until 3 a.m.,you're traversing sprawling campuses, climbing stairs in lecture halls, milling through food courts and scoping out dormitories. If your FitBit could talk, it would beg for a break. Just as you were cautioned when you set off on those bachelorette party pub crawls: hydration is key.

You may also have young siblings in tow. Much like friends of the bride you previously hadn't met, this group can go either way. They may end up being the life of the party or major buzzkills. And there's probably little you can do to change their attitudes.

When you finally return home, chances are you'll be nursing a serious information hangover. Everything you've just experienced will seem like a blur. Which tour guide said the food was amazing but AP credits aren't accepted? Which school requires two letters of recommendation and which didn't want any? Lastly, what day is this and how will you survive the next few months leading up to application season?

Whether you're attending a bachelorette party or visiting colleges, there's an emotional component to these trips, too. When all is said and done, you're going to have to let go of the person you love and watch as they transform into the new and different version of themselves.

With all this in mind, is it any wonder we need weeks to recuperate?

-Liz Alterman

Liz Alterman is a writer whose work has appeared inThe New York Times,The Washington Post, McSweeney's, and more. She is a mom of three boys who enjoys reading, baking and failedattemptsat gardening.