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What's today? Monday? Tuesday? No, I mean what day is it? It has to be National Something Day.

Every time I look on Facebook, pick up a magazine or tune in to the news, it's National (or International) Something Day (Week or Month). It could be National Be Nasty Day or National Submarine Day or perhaps National Bunsen Burner Day (all real according to the online National Day Calendar). Days, weeks and months are increasingly losing their identities as simple markers of time. I've been wondering how these day designations started and got so out of control.

Some groups want to draw attention to and help raise funds for important causes. I have no problems with Glaucoma Awareness Month, World Aids Day, National Infertility Awareness Week, International Blood Cancer Awareness Month, Volunteer Blood Donor Month and so on. Some diseases get the global treatment, such as World Hepatitis Day, World Autism Awareness Day and World No Tobacco Day. There is a National Constipation Awareness Month (really!), although one assumes that the sufferers are quite aware. Reading about Anosmia Awareness Day was very helpful because I was not aware of anosmia - loss of smell - and now I am. Global Handwashing Day seems superfluous, but I guess there are people who need to be reminded.

Some special days/weeks/months are, of course, the brainchildren of marketing geniuses, such as the National Onion Association's promotion of National Onion Ring Day. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who came up with National Froot Loop Day, National Oreo Cookie Day, National Frozen Food Day, National Tater Tot Day, National Barbecue Month (not to be confused with National Hamburger Month) and National Iced Tea Day. Let's not forget National Popcorn Day, especially if you're at the movies. Just to wrap it up, there's National Dessert Day.

Some, like International Talk like a Pirate Day, are all about fun, shiver me timbers. Who can complain about Date Your Mate Month, Aquarium Month, Candy Month, Dairy Month or Rose Month?

There's something for everyone: Go Fishing Day, International Panic Day, not to be confused with International Picnic Day, National Splurge Day and International Sushi Day. I'm not sure how one upgrades from National to International; maybe there's a National Upgrade Day.

I can certainly get into Man Watcher's Day and possibly Peculiar People Day. Who can argue with National Hugging Day, National No Housework Day, National Goof-Off Day, and, depending on my mood, National Be Nasty Day? I'd be interested in meeting whoever came up with National Multiple Personalities Day and Everything You Think is Wrong Day.

National Answer Your Cat's Question Day speaks to me because I'm owned by a cat. National Play God Day and National Tell a Lie Day are disturbing, but I'm intrigued by National Increase Your Psychic Powers Day.

One problem with these "days" is that I sometimes feel like I'm supposed to do something about the subject in question. If a disease awareness day teaches me something or motivates me to donate, that's a good thing. Feeling obligated to eat a donut on National Donut Day is not. I would need a National Break Your Diet Day (not yet on the National Day Calendar).

Some national days are born from whimsy, and I admire those who know how to manipulate social media enough to make them go viral. Like whoever started National Bubba Day to celebrate those lucky enough to be named Bubba. Among my favorites is Accordion Awareness Month created by a professional accordionist just because. Yes, with enough effort you can start a National Something Day, too.

There could come a day when day-naming inclined people will simply run out of ideas. Then maybe we'll have National National Day, National Nothing Day (oh, wait a minute, there is a National Nothing Day), National Day Day or, perhaps, National Leave Me Alone Day. I thought of National Snapchat Day - as soon as you are aware of it, it goes away - until I found out Snapchat info can be saved. Oh, well. Perhaps in the near future there will be National I'll Bet You're Sick of These Days Day. Day, month or year, I'm all for it.

- Ann Green

Ann Green is a freelance writer, editor, PR consultant and tutor.