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A baseball tragedy: Michael Taylor

Sammy SportfaceEarlier this week Washington Nationals centerfielder Michael Taylor struck out five times against the Los Angeles Dodgers. In that same game he allowed a routine ground ball get past him and to the warning track causing a three-base error that enabled the Dodgers to win in walk-off fashion, 4-to-3.

When he got to his team's dug-out, he stepped on a piece of Double Bubble Gum, fell to the ground, and broke his right wrist. He then dry heaved into a Gatorade bucket. The team manager, seeing him do this, asked rhetorically, "What the hell are you doing puking in the Gatorade bucket?" The manager then whacked Taylor on the head with the bucket and Taylor's puke splattered on his own face.

When he got to the locker room, his teammates yelled at him, "You loser, you lost the game for us. How did you ever make it to the Major Leagues? You struck out five times, dude? That's hard to do. Can't you get your bat on the ball once in five at bats? You should quit baseball right now. You're off the team."

He went to the team physician to tell him he broke his wrist.

"Get out of my office," he said. "You deserved to break your wrist after that performance. I feel like puking all over your face and busted wrist."

Even though he asked around, no one would take him to the hospital. So he had to drive all be himself one-handed with his broken wrist. He was alone with his miseries.

When the emergency room doctor saw him, he asked: "Are you the Nationals guy who struck out five times tonight and a let a Little League grounder go through your legs to blow the game for my Nationals team? I saw that. It was putrid. Did your manager cut you right after the game? Did fans throw hot dogs at you? If not, they should have."

"My wrist is broken," he said. "I need you to put a cast on it."

"You won't be needing that wrist anymore," the doctor said. "Your baseball career is over. Get out of my emergency room."

As Young entered his house, his German Shepherd dog bit him on his calf. The dog broke through the skin and caused it to bleed. Knowing his dog had rabies, Young went back to the hospital to get a tetanus shot.

He then confronted the same doctor in the emergency room.

"My dog bit me and it has rabies," he said. "I need a tetanus shot."

"I hope you get rabies," the doctor said. "Any Major League ballplayer who strikes out five times in one game and lets a Little League grounder through his legs to lose the game deserves it. No, I will not give you a tetanus shot."

As he was leaving the hospital, a car struck him head-on on purpose. It was Dusty Baker, his coach: "You blew the game tonight. You're cut. And no, my insurance company won't pay for damages to your car."

- Sammy Sportface

Sammy Sportface is possibly America's best blogger. He is only mildly interested in the truth. To read his new book, Wipe That Smile Off Sammy Sportface, go to Amazon.com.

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