Skip to main content

Blogs

A grand adventure

Ye Olde kathy & cindy(Editor's Note: Kathy Kinney, known for her iconic role as "Mimi" on The Drew Carey Show, and Cindy Ratzlaff, marketing guru behind the South Beach Diet, will serve as keynoters at the March 31-April 2 Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop. The longtime friends are the creative force behind the Queen of Your Life book series, calendar and blog. In a Q&A, they talk about what brought them together - and why it's so important to develop a "Queen voice.")

Q: The two of you have such different backgrounds. What brought you together to collaborate on inspirational books and calendars?

A: We met at college one very hot, muggy Wisconsin summer while working on the children's play George and the Dragon and have been friends now for over 35 years. Cindy intended to be an actress, and Kathy had decided to write the great American short story and so after college we headed to New York. While pursuing our careers we had a massive amount of survival jobs, including Director and Membership Director of the American Psychiatric Association, Assistant to the Head of Finance and Publicist Liaison for the Muppets at WCBS-TV - as well as producing, directing and starring in the comedy groups Belles Jeste and Prom Night. During our time in New York we had successes, failures, boyfriends, love found, love lost and our friendship always endured. Cindy eventually found herself with a successful career in publishing/marketing, and Kathy moved to Los Angeles and became an actress. Could life be any more mysterious, baffling or wondrous? After half a lifetime of shared memories and exciting adventures, it seemed like a good time to write a book about what we had learned and what we wanted to achieve in the next half of our lives.

Q: You've described your journey together as "hilarious, sometimes tearful, but always honest." Is that the appeal behind the "Queen of Your Own Life" movement?

A: Queen of Your Own Life is about learning to be honest with yourself and letting go of your fears so you can keep moving forward without self-judgment. We like to say it's about taking care of yourself and learning to take the "ish" out of "selfish." Taking care of your needs does not make you a bad person or selfish; it means you're smart.

Q: What's the secret to being Queen of Your Own Life?

A: The secret is that you already are the Queen of Your Own Life, but sometimes you just need a good friend to remind you. It's about getting past the negative internal voices that say, I should've, could've and oh, if only I would've, to finally uncover your true Queen voice. The voice that says you were enough, are enough and always will be enough just the way you are. Your Queen voice is loud and reminds you that life is a grand adventure and you are the woman who is brave enough to live it.

Q: Has Erma Bombeck inspired you in any way? Did she use a "Queen voice" in her writing?

A: Erma Bombeck was definitely the Queen of Her Own Life, and that's why everyone loved her so much. She was always authentically herself, and her Queen voice was loud and clear. She was funny, warm, clever, and it was a joy to read her column and her books. She had the gift of making you laugh till you snorted and yet think about, and be grateful for, the life you were living. Our favorite Erma quote is, "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'" Truly a worthy goal.

Q: You talk about walking through your fears and taking control of your life. Why do some people, particularly women, have such a hard time doing that?

A: It's a lot better out there, but the message woman still get from the media is you aren't enough the way you are. In order to be valuable or desirable in our society you need to be young, curvy, blonde and very sexy. It takes courage to make the choice to be your authentic self - a strong, smart, creative woman who shows up everyday owning her power. The key is that we are all more alike than different in our fears about being accepted and loved. Deciding to be yourself gives permission to everyone around you to do the same thing.

Q: You've brought your empowerment message to huge conferences around the country. What appeals to you about the crowd at the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop?

A: First of all, we just love, love, love authors and writers. They are our people! Also, folks spend a lot of time talking about the East Coast and the West Coast, and we've lived both places, but the middle of this country is truly the "Heartland." We are Midwest born and raised -and while you can take the girl out of the Midwest, you can never take the Midwest out of the girl.

Q: What message do you want to leave with writers struggling to find their own voices?

A: Just get out of your own way and do it! Everyone has the right to write a book, play, poem, blog or, for that matter, a rap song! If you write it, there will be someone there to read it, and someone who needs to hear what you have to say. Don't let your fear of not getting it "right" stop you from expressing yourself. And, above all, have fun with it! If you're not having fun while doing it, then change directions until you are enjoying yourself. It's your adventure, so don't talk yourself out of living it.

Q: Besides the work you do together, what else keeps you busy these days? What brings you joy?

A: Joy for us both is family, friends and leading a creative life. Kathy still acts and has a children's character called Mrs. P at mrsp.com who is an advocate for literacy and libraries. Cindy still works in publishing and helping authors find their own brands. We both find a lot of pleasure in being successful in these jobs. We also find great joy daily in posting "Queenisms" (positive affirmation combined with a vintage image) on our Facebook page. This means we spend many fun hours in antique malls questing for vintage images of woman. After we have the images, oh my, that is when the fun really begins! We scan all of the photos, then reimagine and redesign them on Adobe Photoshop and then add an affirmation. VoilĂ , as the French say, a Queenism! We love using and exploring Adobe Photoshop so much that we have secretly dubbed ourselves the Nerd Queens. It's great to have a hobby you adore.

Previous Post

Blind as a rhino

It started with a recipe. I misread the amount of flour that was to go into a cake and added too much of it to the batter. That night, I served a frosted hockey puck to my dinner guests. I was certain the mistake was due to my lack of attention while baking. Note to self: Do NOT watch "America's Hottest Firemen" on cable TV while making a cake. There were other slip-ups that soon followed - little things I stubbornly ignored, such as squinting while reading a book. Or leaning over the car ...
Read More
Next Post

Blind as a rhino

It started with a recipe. I misread the amount of flour that was to go into a cake and added too much of it to the batter. That night, I served a frosted hockey puck to my dinner guests. I was certain the mistake was due to my lack of attention while baking. Note to self: Do NOT watch "America's Hottest Firemen" on cable TV while making a cake. There were other slip-ups that soon followed - little things I stubbornly ignored, such as squinting while reading a book. Or leaning over the car ...
Read More