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Seconds after the San Francisco Forty-Niners named him their new head coach yesterday, Chip Kelly announced he will immediately move the team to Los Angeles and rename them the Los Angeles Chippers.

The move will make his new team the third or fourth in the NFL to compete in the Los Angeles market next season and beyond.

Chip's move to move tracks with an NFL trend. Earlier this week the St. Louis Rams, who used to be the Los Angeles Rams when Warren Beatty quarterbacked the team in the mediocre movie, "Heaven Can Wait," announced they were moving back to Los Angeles. The reason is so the owners can make more money.

Los Angeles has suddenly become a magnet for NFL teams. It's because that beautiful movie star babes live there and NFL players and owners are attracted to them.

While the Rams and Clippers have made public they will set up shop in Tinsel Town, word is the San Diego Chargers could also move to Los Angeles.

Kelly said he is moving the Niners to Los Angeles so he can gain control of all football functions - general manager, president and head coach - of the three NFL franchises now based there. These are his team, to be renamed the Forty-Chippers; the Los Angeles Raiders that will now be called Chipster's Raiders; and the St. Louis Chippers.

"I failed in Philadelphia because I didn't have enough responsibilities," he said. "The job was too easy and I got bored."

He was also pretty widely disliked. But bored people can have that effect on people, none more so than Philadelphia Eagles fans who boo everyone, including Santa Claus.

Chip said his first move as leader of the three teams will be to cut each squad's best five players, including the starting quarterbacks.

"We need to get rid of the best players on each team and start all over again with players who aren't as talented," he said. "I know this strategy didn't work in Philly, but those fans didn't have enough patience. Had they waited a few years, they would have learned that trading away your best five players is an innovative way to create a great football team."

- Sammy Sportface

Sammy Sportface is possibly America's best blogger. He is only mildly interested in the truth. To read his new book, Wipe That Smile Off Sammy Sportface, go to Amazon.com.