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Recently I was lucky enough to spend a weekend viewing the beautiful waterfalls in the State Park at Watkins Glen, New York.

Being certified seniors, Mr. Darcy and I got up very early and compounded the stereotype by attempting to take full advantage of the free breakfast at the motel. Since we found it was not available till 8 a.m., we were stranded and hungry in our dinky room watching a fuzzy television airing a show entitled "Good Morning in America, Today" or some such. The scrawl below the talking heads announced the wonderful news that an actor had "found his Zen in rehab."

Naturally I wondered if the actor, John Stamos, had somehow misplaced his Zen but then thought maybe he had a religious conversion in rehab following his DWI in California. I have never seen his TV shows, but I understand he is especially beloved by a generation of women who grew up watching his character "Uncle Jesse." I have nothing against the man; he seems a pleasant enough celebrity and relatively scandal-free until recently. I further understand that he has little or no control over what TV producers run in promotional teases.

Still, I hoped he might have something interesting to say about Zen Buddhism. Sadly and horribly and weirdly, his interview progressed to the point whereupon he and the host, Matt Lauer, started slapping each other in some sort of acting exercise and it all became unwatchable until it was thankfully time to eat the free breakfast. But it, nonetheless, reminded me of the first time I took an interest in Buddhism.

In high school I took a class in comparative religion taught by a man who also coached the football team. Not that these activities should, in any way, be mutually exclusive but Coach did say upon the introduction of each new religion, "Hey, I can't help it if these people believe this stuff."

Despite the questionable abilities of Coach, I did learn a little about the Buddhism originally from Nepal and its Chinese/Taoist influenced offshoot known as Zen Buddhism. The elimination of desire (the root of suffering) is achieved by following the "Eightfold Path," which instructs one in right views, intentions, speech, actions, livelihood, effort, mindfulness and concentration and leads one to right knowledge and liberation from the cycles of birth/death/re-birth.

Buddhism's core principle is that you achieve Nirvana by ridding yourself of the suffering that is brought on by desire. Believing this added a new and not-fun layer of angst to my fading Catholicism by making me feel even worse about wanting anything, even if it was to be relieved of crushing migraines. (These headaches brought much betrayal. When St. Therese de Liseaux had excruciating pain, she at least had holy visions and I got nothing, which led to my feeling guilty about being bitter.) Still, the elimination of desire and a path of non-materialism remained a guiding force in my life and now makes me wonder why the term "Zen" has come to mean SELL anything you want.

For years I have seen ads for things such as "Zen cut jeans" and "Zen salads." Jimmy Choo is advertising "Champagne Suede 'Zen' cut booties," which look like toeless boots with stiletto heels. Incidentally, since the evolutionary purpose of feet is to enable us to walk upright, this seems to be a "step" in the wrong direction.

There is a "Zen Salon and Spa" in Mission, Texas, that is offering a "Zen conditioning treatment." I did not quite have the nerve to call them up and ask about the depth of their commitment to Buddhism.

Donna Karan has an entire line of products to buy called "Urban Zen." The ultimate irony is that Zen Buddhism espouses non-materialism and yet has become a marketing device.

Another item I found online was a "Zen Cut-out Collar Necklace." It is out of stock. That an object is advertised online and doesn't really exist, at least for purchasing, is well, kinda Zen!

The fact that Zen rarely discusses sin, offers no punishment other than that of reincarnation, does not consider itself to be a religion despite having nuns and priests and gladly accepts Christians, Jews and atheists alike into its welcoming fold may have caused it to mean just about anything. The incomprehensible nature (to most Westerners) of Zen lends itself to many interpretations.

That is a sorry excuse for using a philosophy to sell things. Please consider the following: "Jewish flavored ice-cream," "Existentialist-cut lawn furniture" or "Mango-Methodist salad dressing." Is it just that "Zen" is a cool word and fun to say? Just as "fascism" has come to mean any ideology or political system that you don't like, "Zen" has come to mean something that represents clean lines, (like Calvin Klein!), is a little upscale and urban but also down to earth and simple, something that requires deep concentration but also empties the mind. OK, I give up. It means everything and nothing.

If you really want to contemplate all this, go back to the very beginning. Yes, the beginning of this blog. Go to Watkins Glen, sit on a rock by one of the 19 lovely waterfalls and just listen.

All the best to Mr. Stamos, who remains entirely innocent of promoting "Zen."

- Ann Rita Darcy

Ann Rita Darcy is a nurse and grandmother who lives on Long Island.