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According to the experts, hearing generally is the last of our senses to go at the end of life. But at midlife, it's frequently one of the first to wane.

This age-related hearing loss is called presbycusis (toss that word out at your next cocktail party). As we age, structures inside our ears start to change and their ability to function declines (all those loud rock-and-roll concerts and cranked-up stereo speakers didn't help us baby boomers, either). As a result, we start having trouble hearing high-frequency sounds, understanding someone when there's background noise, or telling certain sounds apart.

We all know what happens next. The television volume gets cranked up. We start watching people's lips when they talk. You rely on a spouse or companion to "translate" what others are saying. And conversations can be both frustrating and hilarious. For example:

An online acquaintance recently wrote about how she heard "phone" when her husband said he'd misplaced his (mustache) comb, and she offered to call it so the ringtone would help him track it down.

One evening a few months ago, my husband and I were watching a Netflix movie when I announced that I had to go to the bathroom - a cue for him to pause what we were watching (since he, of course, controls the remote). His reaction was, "Why do you have to do that now?" I rather snippily replied, "Because my bladder's full, that's why." Then he got it. Turns out, he thought I'd said "I have to go vacuum" and was baffled as to why I felt the need to do so in the middle of a movie.

But maybe the best misunderstanding we've had from mishearing happened in the boudoir. Upon awakening one weekday morning before my husband retired, I suggested a fast amorous encounter before he had to get out of bed and off to work. He misheard me and, fastidious Felix Unger-like, had a most interesting response - which inspired this haiku:

I offered "quickie;"

He heard "cookie" and asked me

"Why get crumbs in bed?"

Which just goes to show you, fellow boomers - hearing loss can affect your sex life. So listen up!

- Roxanne Jones

Roxanne Jones blogs at boomerhaiku.com, a mostly lighthearted, often irreverent look at life as a baby boomer, 17 syllables at a time. When she's not tapping out haikus, she's a freelance medical copywriter, enjoys chardonnay and contemplates plastic surgery to get rid of the wattle on her neck.