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"Excuse me; may I take care of that for you?"

She leaned in closer, her face uncomfortably close to mine. I was so stunned, frustrated and embarrassed I could not find the words to accept her offer. I stood there looking back into her eyes for a moment. She searched my face with so much compassion. After what seemed like one hell of a day, I just stood there speechless.

It all started with the morning phone call that I couldn't quite take. This particular friend and I don't get to see each other or talk much, so I was eager to take the call. My toddlers had just awakened and were quietly playing in their room. I thought, "Yes! I can ACTUALLY answer my phone and have a quality conversation without interruption!" That lasted for about 30 seconds. After I said the words, "good morning," Maddy and Kaiden decided to commence in a WWE match that somehow landed in my bedroom and loudly at my feet! I watched my hopes of sharing a nice moment with a dear friend fade away as I promptly ended the call just as quickly as it began and simultaneously placed myself in referee mode. "That's enough! Give me the toy if you're not going to share. Separate!" I knew then that my day was not going to look ANYTHING like my agenda.

Fast forward to right after breakfast, and, as I sat down to fold my mountain of laundry, I received another phone call. My new lawn guy needed to bring an unexpected guest with him. Within moments, I had another child standing awkwardly in my living room watching me scramble to find a place for her to sit amongst Mt. Clothesmore while her father and his crew took care of the jungle, which was my backyard. My time of being Suzy Homemaker quickly transformed into being the hostess with the mostest. All in all, the girls had a great time and luckily I had just refilled on snacks the night before.

After paying the lawn crew and letting the girls bid our super cute house guest adieu, I received a text from my noon appointment stating she would be considerably late. Due to the baby battle royale this morning, I neglected to give my daily schedule a thorough once over. I had completely forgotten about her! I was relieved that I had more time to prepare for her. I checked my schedule. My heart sank. I realized that this would make me very late for my afternoon appointments. It seems I just can't get with it today. SMH.

Lunch and lunch cleanup went by without a hiccup. Naptime became a time of moaning, groaning and lashing out. Of course, my noon appointment shows up at this moment and we try to converse amongst the chaos. This was hard. Lucky for me she understands and appreciates the life of a single, work-at-home Mompreneur! (Sidebar: at this point of my life, I have no room to entertain anyone who doesn't.)

I wound up missing one appointment to get an item sold. That really killed my personal daily income goal. Daagonit! I arrived at a consignment shop to sell another batch of items and was instructed to wait in the store until they evaluate all items and then call my name. Can you imagine trying to wait in a cramped store with three children who aren't on a leash?? After 20 minutes of walking around, browsing and eventually allowing them to have some free play time, the toddlers decided it was time for round 2.

Madison let out a blood-curdling shriek because Kaiden snatched a toy from her. Surrounded by at least 30 other toys, the terrible twos began the most hideous sounding yet amazingly cute fight match I have ever seen. One jabs the other. They both cry. One pats the other on the back and says, "I'm sorry. It's ok. Ok?" And then they fight again. One pushes the other and snatched the object of affection away. They both shriek. They hug. Repeat. If it weren't so flipping loud, I swear I would have just turned my back and let the chips fall where they may. I know I'm "Mother of the Year" at this point. But I am TIRED, it is HOT outside and by this time we've all been in this store entirely too long.

Just when I've just about had enough (along with probably all of the other adults in the store), my name is called. I discovered there wasn't a need for most of the items I submitted. My pay? Froyo money. Insert a roll of the eyes and loud audible sigh riiiiiight here.

My last stop before going home is Target. Perhaps there had been an early full moon? Maybe the heat index was higher than I imagined? What was this weird phenomenon that caused all three children to reenact a scene from "Where The Wild Things Are?" Typically, I could give them the famous riot act and gain at least 70 percent compliance while shopping in the store. Today seemed like a fail, and I didn't have it within me to go military mommy mode. My daughters asked for and seemed to touch everything. The three-year-old begged to walk vs. ride in the basket. I couldn't find the ONE main item I stopped in the store for. This was a less-than-pleasant experience. I am sure that by this time I appeared haggard and broken.

By the time I approached the service counter I noticed that my one-year-old must have kicked one of her shoes off, for the umpteenth time, somewhere in this god forsaken store. So, instead of asking a representative to process a payment on my Redcard, I was forced to ask her if anyone had noticed and turned in a brown leather mary jane with pink and purple flowers on it. No luck. My head and shoulders slumped, and I began my trek around the store twice, retracing my steps and desperately trying to find this shoe. Needless to say, the shoe was never found. I left my name and number just in case some kind soul found it later. Yeah, right.

I began to checked out of the store and I told myself, "It's almost over, Nicole. You are going home. You've already pre-baked dinner. They didn't get a full nap so they will go to bed early and then you can catch up on your unending task list in peace - and maybe even return that phone call."

The clerk interrupted my thoughts to alert me that my credit card had been declined. I was mortified and flustered! How could this happen to me? I have been a good steward of my resources. I've committed to being frugal and wise with everything including my money, I JUST went over my budget and glanced at my accounts this morning. This cannot be happening. I tried to check my account on my Iphone and, keeping up with Murphy's Law, my data ran very slow so I couldn't get the pages to pull up quickly. I began to spiral in my mind. I stopped myself and forced myself to mutter a very half sincere and angry prayer. It probably didn't even reach the ceiling, but I figured I'd better do something to keep me from either crying, lashing out at the kids for acting like the little Whos from Whoville, or just stammering something to the clerk about how this is a huge mistake. I suppose this felt like the proverbial straw that was just so much more than I could take. It touched a nerve for me that was dangerously close to the wounds that are still fresh and bleeding.

I remember I used to be THAT MOM who always looked great! I used to be THAT MOM who always had it together and had the perfect looking "whole family." I was THAT MOM who looked for opportunities to step in and pay it forward at any moment's notice with a joyful heart because I was just so happy and blessed and wanted others around me to feel the same way.

At this moment, however, I felt like the other mom whom others looked down on. I felt like that other mom, the one with waay to many kids, alone. I believed that at that moment I appeared to be that one mom who is always angry and frustrated and yelling at her kids because she can't control them. I was headed toward an inward full onslaught of my perceived character, complete with telling myself, "Wow! Great job today, Nic! You even effed up the shopping trip." At this moment, I felt that I was the epitome of what some folks call "The Baby Mamma."

"Excuse me; may I take care of that for you?"

I heard those words and before my mind could perceive that those words were actually for me, I sarcastically thought, "Sure. Take care of this circus that is my life because I haven't done a stellar job with it and I'm getting so tired of the rebuilding process. Sometimes it looks amazing, but it's a daily, hourly struggle and moments like this make me feel like effit. What's the use in striving to create this elusive dream that I keep plastered on my wall??!!" Instead, I shook my head slightly and said "Ummm…sure. Ok. Thank you."

It took me a moment to look her in the eyes. I was afraid I would see judgment. I saw nothing but compassion and affirmation. She was the woman I used to be. Perhaps she used to be the woman I am now. I shook her hand. She placed her other hand over mine for a moment and I swear I felt a transfer of strength. I left with my children, my things and my thoughts. Breathless. Speechless.

I am undoubtedly trekking through my valley of life right now. I suppose it is necessary for everyone to face this part of their journey in life. I try to face each day bravely and with a good measure of faith and hope and, of course, a full dose of moxie. Sometimes, I just can't fake it and I feel beat down by my current transition in life, and sometimes it shows. I never stop believing, even if it's just a sliver of belief left that ultimately the universe MUST conspire on my behalf to ensure all things work out in my favor. That's just what I've decided to be insane enough to expect. But, during those days that feel exceptionally draining and I don't feel like I have enough strength or hope to hang onto, I now know that there is a greater measure of strength that I can rely on to show up for me when I don't have any left. So, life is still OK - even when I can't clean up for company.

Update: TARGET called. They found the shoe at 12:20 a.m.

- Nicole Lawson Miles

Nicole Lawson Miles shares her not-so-tidy life as an artist and single Mompreneur of three in her new blog, I Don't Clean Up For Company. Nicole loves singing, film bombing as an extra, Godiva and all things PINK! She's an overcomer of some of life's worst nightmares and teaches women that you do not have to look like what you have been through. When asked to sum up her story, she says, "I am here for those who need to look up and see a diamond shining in the rough so that they can finally give themselves permission to shine, too!"