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My Fellow Americans:

Today I announce my candidacy, as a member of the Republican Party, for President of the United States in 2016. I hereby join the 48 other Republicans who have announced they are running for the Oval Office this election cycle.

For most of my life I have been a Democrat. This has been my public persona. But I have been untruthful to who I am in my heart of hearts. I am a Republican and I can't hold this inside myself any longer.

I feel an uncontrollable urge to come out now with this personal news about my political bent. It's time to switch, come home to my inner being.

There are three reasons why I want to be President:

First, I want to be the first to be born as a man who wins the Olympic Gold Medal in the Decathlon and then - 43 years later - reveals he wants to be a woman and has since he was a grade schooler. Being the first to do anything is always a plus, and this switch from man to woman is one of my competitive differentiators in the political market place. If you don't have anything to sell, even if it's not worth anything to anyone but yourself, you shouldn't be a politician.

There are too many dishonest people in this world who go around being someone they are not. This country needs a President who stands for something and lives that belief. In my case that just happens to be that I was born a man and have in recent months begun a full-blown transition to become a woman. Not a man without a cause as is the main affliction of all the other candidates, I believe in my cause. It feels true to me and that's all that matters.

The second reason I want to be President is so I can bring a new type of celebrity status to the highest office in the land. Whereas most Presidents get boring cover stories written about them in Time magazine and U.S. News and World Report, as President I will reach deeper into the mainstream of Americana. You can already see evidence of my pursuit in the most recent edition of Vanity Fair magazine where I am pictured on the cover. Have you seen me in my white dress and woman's hair-do? Considering I'm really a man, I'm a pretty attractive woman.

While campaigning for the office, my media plan is to get more pictures of myself on covers of other magazines particularly tabloids and others you can buy off the rack near the grocery store at your local supermarket. The more magazine covers I get on, the more exposure it will get me. Any press is good press even if it's because you're a former Olympic Decathlete Gold Medal winner who grew a pony tail while the ne'er-do-well father on the Kardashians reality TV show, which was inspired by Satan. Yes, I have come out now as a woman and the press is eating my story for breakfast, lunch and dinner. All the Republican candidates are thrashing about. They're talking about mundane issues such as border control, health care, and global warming. Americans are bored by those guys. They want to elect a man who becomes a woman and poses on covers of magazines in provocative poses.

My third reason for wanting to be President is so I can influence global social policies. The world is a different place than it was when I won the Decathlon in 1972. Those were simpler times. Since then the world has become more complicated. We need a President who is complicated. Complex problems can only be solved by a President who stands above everyone else in psychological and emotional complexity. I am that guy.

In the upcoming Republican debates, tune in to watch me. I will stand out in my dresses compared with all the suits standing at the podiums. Don't worry what I say. Just check out how I look.

Sincerely,

Caitlyn Bruce Jenner

- Charles Hartley

Charles Hartley is a freelance writer who has had more than 1,000 articles published in a wide range of media outlets focused on humor, sports, business, technology and consumers. He has earned master's degrees in journalism and business administration and a bachelor's degree in English and communications.