Blogs

I don't want to overstep my bounds as your friend and confidante here, but what the heck - I'm here to share.

I made a little bit of a mistake last night during my "jogging." In order to be accurate I think I should come clean and say it's like a quick-fast shuffling of feet. I don't know that I have earned "jogging status" because I don't really have the form.

Onward to the story at hand. The pants I wore were a little loose. I didn't think much of it because apparently I lack some common sense and understanding of physics.

Once I started "jogging," there were some issues (I'm pronouncing that word "ish-sues" to sound classier in my head. Do it with me). I spent a good three minutes trying to pull them up and "jog," but then I thought screw it - bring it on, pants!

Unfortunately, there is a danger element in running with something around your knees, so I had to give up and pull them up eventually. Even if my middle name is danger.

I came up with a new plan. I tucked my pants up into my sports bra. Let's picture this together, me quickly shuffling my feet, my pants tucked into my sports bra and cuss-breathing. At this point to put your mind at ease, I want to assure you this was on a treadmill at a home and not in public.

I have recognized that I can't unleash this level of fitness on the unsuspecting city yet. You're welcome.

Earlier in the day a friend and I (I'm not naming her because I'm not sure she will still claim me as such) were talking about how you can tell the "pro" joggers from the hobby joggers. This is going to sound brattish, but I think I might be a pro. Who else exhibits this level of problem solving except for someone who is climbing the pro jogger ladder? Fitness trainer career? Maybe, but can anyone handle that?

New rule of thumb: If I can tuck my pants up into my sports bra, the pants are too large. Thou shalt set aside thy pants of that size until thou maketh and eateth a whole pan of brownies.

- Mandy Waysman

Mandy Waysman is a mother of two daughters and a husband whom she loves to pieces. She blogs at Oh, Mandelynn. Her work can be found at In The Powder Room as well as Mamalode. She also contributes to Sammiches and Psych Meds.