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Reprinted with permission from Record Publishing Co. This piece first appeared in the Aurora Advocate on Dec. 17, 2014.

After years of dread-filled, awful, mismatched, unhappy holiday card-taking sessions, I thought perhaps a few simple tips would help others avoid my numerous mistakes.

Tip 1: Hire a professional photographer.

Each December, I think the tripod and a timer are the answer to my picture-taking prayers. Except for the fact that the tripod usually sinks into the wet grass, mud and/or snow.

And once that happens, everyone in the frame is tilted to the side like the photographer has had a few too many holiday-enhanced eggnogs. Not to mention that every time I run to the camera, set the timer and run back, the dog follows me.

By the time the shutter clicks, I am wrestling the dog back into position while everyone else's mouths are wide open yelling at him and me, and no one is looking straight ahead, or smiling. Except the dog, who I swear is laughing at us.

Tip 2: Hire professional actors as stand-ins.

This step would not only save time, but also sanity.

For example, if we hired actors, fake Stephanie would not be grinding her teeth with an unnatural smile plastered across her face while muttering under her breath about Santa skipping the house and donating all the gifts to charity. (That threat doesn't work so well these days.)

Heck, the actors don't even need to come to Aurora for the picture. I'm perfectly fine pretending the "Fellensteins" took a trip to Los Angeles or New York City or even Paris.

Tip 3: Never include the dog, cats, turtle, goats, chickens or partridge in a pear tree.

I think I've explained that in Tip 1. I will only add that the year we featured the goats, they ate the Christmas wreath behind us. Luckily it was all caught on film.

Tip 4: Buy lots of clothes all year in a variety of hues.

I love the cards I get with the families in matching outfits. The kids look adorable, and the parents use complementary colors and jewelry to create a warm, fuzzy tableau.

The first snag is I have a total of two Christmas-card worthy outfits. Seriously. Just ask my co-workers. I wear the same thing every day. The second problem is that my kids refuse to wear matching outfits, or even stand next to each other.

Tip 5: Plan ahead.

This pretty much gets to the heart of the problem. I don't actually start planning for the Christmas card picture until about 13 minutes before I expect everyone to be gathered around the pine tree outside in matching outfits.

"We are taking the Christmas card picture in 10 minutes," I yell.

"Seriously?! No one else's mom does this," someone says from the living room.

"Who said that? Do you want Santa to start taking back some gifts?! I can still call him," I yell. "I want everyone in green. Remember how cute Uncle Joe's picture was last year?"

"Why doesn't Dad have to do this?" someone else asks.

"What do you mean?! He'd better be outside in something green," I say. "Someone grab a chicken."

Clearly I have not learned from previous years' mistakes.

Even the dog refuses to leave the back porch. As soon as he sees the tripod, some post-traumatic, picture-taking stress seizes him, and he's rooted to the doormat.

So there you have it. Start planning now. Hire some actors, a photographer and get rid of the chickens. Or you could just mail out that fake picture that comes complimentary in new picture frames.

Of course, there's always my approach - 13 minutes is plenty of time to pull something together.

Works for me.

- Stephanie Fellenstein

Stephanie Fellenstein is the editor of Hudson Monthly magazine in Hudson, Ohio, and regularly contributes columns to Record Publishing Co. weekly newspapers.