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Easy-to-keep New Year's resolutions

myron.kuklaI firmly believe I will be able to keep all of my New Year's resolutions for 2015.

I think I'll be successful this year because I have decided this time around to go with resolutions that will be easy to keep.

Face it, it's dumb to make resolutions like, "I resolve to exercise hard everyday for two hours and eat nothing but carrot sticks and healthy salads all year until the fat comes melting off my body."

I know from experience I'll never keep a resolution like that. One, I don't have the discipline to do it, and two, my back usually goes out in the first half hour of exercise and I'm done for a month or two.

This year my resolutions are realistic and attainable, and don't require me to injure my back.

Here are my top 15 easy resolutions for 2015:

#1. I will procrastinate all I want during the year and not feel guilty about it. I will call my procrastination, "Weighing the alternatives."

#2. I resolve to stay away from diets, eat anything I want in 2015 without concern for calories, carbs or how much weight I gain.

#3. I will only buy clothes that are several sizes too big for me and tell people during the year that I have been working out and losing weight.

#4. I plan to create a very short list of personal improvement objectives that need to be accomplished in 2015 and then follow resolution #1.

#5. I resolve to keep the television cable remote in my back pocket at all times, flip through the channels aimlessly and sometimes watch two sporting programs and a movie at the same time.

#6. When it is my turn to make dinner at home, I will buy take-out food and pass it off as something I created from watching the Food Channel.

#7. I'm not sure what I want to put down as a resolution here, so I'm going to have to "weight the alternatives" and get back to you on this one.

#8. For my wife, I promise to leave the seat up at night.

#9. I will play as much as golf as I can during the year except on my wife's birthday and that other day I can never remember.

#10. I will have more fun during the year.

#11. I shall finish these resolutions at some future date, once I have weighed all the alternatives.

- Myron J. Kukla

Myron Kukla is a professional journalist, writer and owner of the West Michigan-based marketing company WriteStuff. Kukla is the author of two books of humor, Confessions of a Baby Boomer: Memories of Things I Haven't Forgotten Yet and Guide to Surviving Life. He has also just published two ebooks on Amazon.com, Chomp and Something in the Blood.

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Author and humorist Dylan Brody calls himself a "purveyor of fine words and phrases" and specializes in smart, humane storytelling. He has performed in venues all over the world, regularly opens for David Sedaris and has written for dozens of comedians, including Jay Leno. He wrote the satirical self-help book, The Modern Depression Guidebook, and the novel, Laughs Last. He is a thrice-published author of fiction for the young adult market with one of his books, A Tale of a ...
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