Blogs

When my first novel, Whistling in the Dark, was declared a breakout hit and New York Times bestseller, I was utterly bowled over. Especially after the invitations came pouring in from readers who invited me to their monthly book club discussions, and the bookstores that'd set aside evenings for me to speak. Almost overnight I, a 57-year-old menopausal woman who felt lucky to remember where she'd parked her car, had magically morphed into a sought-after author.

I'm truly grateful for all the time I've spent talking to readers who share their wine, tasty treats and feelings. While many of their reactions to my books have moved me to tears, it's not always been a smooth sail. I've received more than a few comments from readers and others along the publishing trail that would qualify as out-and-out odd and decidedly, well, testy. Here are a couple of the more intriguing ones along with my responses that I may or may not have spoken aloud:

1. This from a woman at a library event during a discussion of Whistling in the Dark: "I like the book and everything, but I grew up during that era and I think you should've tried harder to be more accurate. You do know that there were no homosexuals in Milwaukee during the 1950s, don't you?"

Me: (Stunned.) "Ahhh…are you suggesting that gay men weren't invented until 1967 in San Francisco?"

2. A young woman commenting during the Q & A time at a bookstore appearance for Good Graces, which is set during my childhood years: "I really loved your book and I don't normally like historical fiction!"

Me: (Unable to respond because my jaw had dropped down to my historically sagging bosom.)

3. During a book club discussion for Mare's Nest: "Clear something up for me. You just told us this book took you almost 10 years to write. How come? I read it in three days.

Me: "Hmmm…do you have any more of those peanut butter cookies?"

4. In an email from a reader in Virginia commenting on my novel, Tomorrow River, which was set in her hometown: "I lived here my whole life and there's no river named Tomorrow around here."

Me: It's not a real river. The book is just titled that because it was something the girls' mother told them. I made it up."

Her response: "Well, what ya wanna go and do that for?"

5. When absolutely nobody showed up to hear me speak in a bookstore in Michigan, the manager tried to cheer me up by telling me: "Don't feel bad. Everyone's probably at the grand opening of the new Dollar Store. They're giving away combs. You wanna head over there?"

Me: (A woman who hasn't had a drink in 30 years.) "Can we stop at a bar along the way?"

7. This last encounter took place when publisher's representative, Sylvia, and I were lunching before the release of my first novel. This gal, who was supposed to be my book's number one supporter, had just inserted a dinner roll into her mouth when I asked her what she thought the chances were that Whistling in the Dark would be selected by the exclusive independent booksellers BookSense list. Sylvia began snort-laughing so uncontrollably that the roll became lodged in her throat.

Me: (Sitting in the ruins of a burst bubble.) "Oh, gosh." Barely patting her on the back, just a graze, really.) "I used to know the Heimlich maneuver, but my memory just isn't what it used to be."

- Lesley Kagen

Lesley Kagen is a mother of two, a grandmother of two, an actress, former restaurateur, celebrated public speaker, essayist and the award-winning, New York Times' bestselling author of Whistling in the Dark, Land of a Hundred Wonders, Tomorrow River, Good Graces, Mare's Nest, The Undertaking of Tess and The Resurrection of Tess Blessing. Her novels have been published in the Netherlands, China, Taiwan, Germany, Italy, Turkey and Russia. She lives in Wisconsin in a 100-year-old farmhouse. Find reading guides and event information at www.lesleykagen.com and at www.facebook.com/LesleyKagenBooks.