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Dear "Work Wife,"

Ha ha! I think that term is so funny. Mark only uses it to be ironic. He is a really ironic guy. I mean, you should see his collection of funny T-shirts. Wait, you can't, since you only see him at work. There is so much about him you don't get to see, I guess. "Work wife," super funny.

I think it's so great that you guys are close friends, though. I mean, not close close, since you've never even been over to our house. Except for that one time, the barbecue, and people invite everyone to a barbecue. You barely have to know them. Not like you, though. Of course, he knows you! From work.

I really also appreciate that since he can't call me during the day, because of that work policy, he has you to talk to. He loves to have someone listen to him talk, ha ha! Meryl says it's because he was an only child, and he got so much attention. Oh, Meryl is his mom, you wouldn't know that. I never call her Meryl, though, except to strangers. I call her Mom. We're super close.

I heard about how you're getting really into golf. I never liked golf even though Mark does. He said it was fine because he liked to hang out with the guys anyway. Now he takes you. Guess you're like one of the guys, ha ha! I use that time to go to spin class and Zumba. Because golf isn't really exercise. Men can just hang out in a golf cart and drink beer, but if a woman wants to look good, she has to work at it! But I'm probably boring you; you don't look like a gym type, ha ha! To each her own!

The time you guys went to that conference and he didn't pick up his phone for two days didn't bother me at all. I understand about how there aren't a lot of cell towers in Orlando. I was grateful that at least he had you there if spouses weren't allowed to go. And I saw how sad he was that he couldn't take me along, even though he didn't want to say it out loud and make us both upset. And it was so sweet that he got me that Mickey Mouse mug, since he knows I love Disney. It's the little things.

In fact, did you know we went to Disney on our honeymoon? We had a lot of sex then. Oops, TMI! But it was really over the top. We just have that physical connection. It's a shame about work making Mark so exhausted lately. But I'm sure we will get our mojo back! Even the best marriages take work, which you wouldn't know, since you're still single. But it's okay; I mean, being single is fun. Ha ha! I mean, for some people, it really is! For me, though, it was actually super lonely and depressing, and I was so happy to find my soulmate.

Speaking of that, I've tried to ask Mark to set you up with some of his single friends, but it goes nowhere. It even seems to irritate him when I ask. I think it's probably because you're not any of his friends' types, so it might end up awkward for everyone. His friends are really attractive guys, so they usually go for model types. And who can compete with that? I mean, I modeled as a teenager for some catalogs. But nothing major. Mark got a kick out of the pictures, though!

It's too bad about that new thing where you guys have to work late twice a week. It's getting so strict there. Totally different than when Mark started and he was home every night by 6 and never had to go in on weekends. But I guess that's why he makes the big bucks! And you do too, of course.

Let's definitely hang out sometime. If you're the "work wife," it makes us like sister wives! Ha ha! I love those shows with sister wives. I always think they're so funny because the man so obviously prefers one wife to the others. It's always the first one, too.

Anyway, talk soon!

XO,

Mark's Real Wife, ha ha!

- Samantha Rodman

Samantha Rodman is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Maryland and a happily married mom of three kids under 5. She blogs on Dr. Psych Mom and has been featured in The Washington Post, The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy. Like her on Facebook, and tweet to her @DrPsychMom.