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I've halfway decided I should start putting a little effort into my appearance. And when I say little, I mean at least three times this week I wore pants with zippers.

Fashion has never been my strong suit. I have sweaters I got after my youngest was born 20 years ago. Just this morning I asked my husband if he'd seen my favorite sweater.

His response, "The one with the bleach on it?"

"Nooo," said I, "I mean the green one with the holes in the back. You know how I love that one."

"Right."

I'm not sure what precipitated this new-found desire to step up my game. I do remember occasionally wearing makeup at my last job. I even wore a skirt or two. Ever since we moved to Martha's Vineyard I've just let it all go. It was sort of freeing at first and it's still kind of awesome. Nobody cares. Dressing up here is a pair of those tights that look like the ones you wore in second grade with the cables on them. Let's just say the makeup I've seen so far is what you might call "minimal."

The great part is that this is totally in keeping with my own ideas on style. It suits me to a T. I've gone years now without putting on pantyhose and I couldn't be happier about it. Besides, at this point the very idea of putting them on is a little scary, and I'm not sure my left leg could be twisted into position to pull them up over my toes. It's better this way. I feel like maybe I shouldn't try putting them on without speaking to a doctor first.

I do think that I might benefit from a little nail polish, maybe some lip gloss and a really nice, comfortable long sweater purchased in the women's department. I have long been a fan of wearing men's shirts. I have this vision of myself in Meg Ryan's body and I'm lounging around in a long white oxford man shirt. My hair is sort of tousled and I stare at my husband while tying a cherry stem in a knot using only my tongue. I seriously think I could pull this off. I just need to find the perfect man shirt and be careful with the cherry juice.

It has occurred to me that I'm too young to give up on all of it. I can remember when I was a teenager thinking it was crazy to see women over 60 wearing jeans. I thought they all should be wearing salmon pink elastic waist pants and a nice rain bonnet. Funny. Now I'm over 50 and wondering how I can squeeze my butt into those jeans for another 20 years.

I've never been very feminine or what you'd call a girly-girl, but I do believe in accessories. I'm big on scarves and bangles. I've always felt they detract from the sound of my thighs rubbing together. I feel the same way about nice fingernails. I love mani-pedis. I'm pretty sure that either one of those services should cost at least $100. I give credit to those poor folks filing my toenails. I'm pretty sure I'd rather walk on rusty razor blades than touch that job.

Yes, I definitely think I should step it up. This past week I not only wore zippered pants to work twice, but I also pulled my hair back into a short ponytail. Everyone loved it. It was like I'd gone to Paris and came back to the Island with a new fall wardrobe.

"Did you get a haircut?"

"Look at you, all put together."

"You look great today."

It was downright inspiring. I felt like a new woman all because I didn't wash my hair that morning and I kept it back in an elastic I put it in for my shower. Wow. It was almost effortless. If I actually did put some thought into it, I'm not sure everyone's ready for this jelly.

- Connie Berry

Connie Berry grew up reading and loving Erma Bombeck. She is former editor of The Catholic Sun newspaper in Syracuse, N.Y., and a new resident of Martha's Vineyard where she is copy editor for the Vineyard Gazette. She lives on the island with her husband and youngest son. Her two older children read her blog, thejoblessgoddess.blogspot.com, from Syracuse.