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It's summer. The weather is lousy. Gas prices are the highest in the history of the world. So obviously, it's time to go on the annual family summer vacation.

Usually, I can accurately predict our vacation will be a disaster before we go.

For one thing, our vacations always involve lots of water even though we almost never go to the lake or beach. The water on our vacations comes in the form of rain, hail, sleet, tornadoes, hurricanes, and on alternate years, flooding.

Over the years, the Kukla family has taken a variety of vacations to any number of interesting places where we've been rained on. I've kept a journal of the jaunts and I would like to share the highlights from my vacation journals for you.

July, something (date washed away by rainwater).

We've gone on our first camping trip. So far, it's rained all week. Kids are complaining that we brought them.

What's worse is we forgot to put our collie "Jo" in the kennel again. Can't get the smell of wet dog off us.

July something, something.

Bright sunny weather all the way to Myrtle Beach. Spent the afternoon on the beach getting sun until the hurricane rolled in. North Carolina Governor has evacuated the coast. Spent the rest of our vacation at a tacky amusement park called "South of the Border" trying to toss waterlogged softballs into sombreros to win a prize.

(Everything but the number "11" obliterated by water)

We've gone off to Mammoth Caves, Kentucky, to explore the grandeur of these underground natural wonders. As usual for our vacation, it's rained the whole time in Kentucky, but for once, we were underground so no one cared.

The Mammoth Caves tour guide took us on enthralling walk through the wondrous caverns full of stalactites and stalagmites. Whenever the guide stopped and asked for questions, our son Jason asked, "Does Batman live here?" He asks the question 47 times and got the answer "No" 47 times. For fun, Jason starts asking, "Where's Robin?"

Our son Matthew disappears during the tour. After an hour search, we find him sleeping in one of the tunnels. Nathan pretended to fall down a "bottomless sinkhole" for laughs. We become the first family ever banned from Mammoth Caves.

Rest of trip washed out by flooding.

("A" something and a "t" still visible. Rest of entry destroyed) Here's a summary.

Took family on fishing trip. Rained buckets. Fish drowned.

Roadtrip 2006

Went on a road trip to national historic sights on East coast. Plan to see Gettysburg, Washington, D.C., someplace where everyone wears colonial clothes and build things by hand, and also Busch Gardens.

We drove all night to avoid traffic. We have three drivers. Nate took the midnight to 3 a.m. shift on the Pennsylvania Turnpike while we sleep in the back of the van.

About 2 a.m. we wake to the sound of tires screeching and Nathan shouting, "Oh, my God, we're going to die" as the van swerved back and forth on two wheels.

"What's happening?" I scream. He laughed. "Nothing. Just go back to sleep."

No one sleeps the rest of the night.

July 14-20, 2014

Have come to Disney World in Orlando. Experienced no earthquakes or tidal waves along the way. Weather is beautiful. Found free passes to the park and there are almost no crowds. We're all enjoying ourselves thoroughly.

I think I've come with the wrong family.

- Myron Kukla

Myron Kukla is a professional journalist, writer and owner of the West Michigan-based marketing company WriteStuff. Kukla is the author of two books of humor, Confessions of a Baby Boomer: Memories of Things I Haven't Forgotten Yet and Guide to Surviving Life. He has also just published two ebooks on Amazon.com, Chomp and Something in the Blood.