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Just when you think you've seen it all, along comes the New-New trend: Gray hair on 20-somethings. Put there not by Mother Nature but by hairdressers at the request of their young female clients. On purpose!

According to hairstylist, Amber Jahn, interviewed in the San Francisco Chronicle, "A gray streak is Cred - it's exhilarating; it's something new." As my Midwestern grandmother would say, "Well, if that don't beat all."

This new fad sounds a tad ridiculous to us Boomers who have been forever coloring away the gray that kids now think is hot. I've had blonde highlights for many years and can tell you unequivocally, that even though there's some gray in there, I'm not feeling the Cred.

Crud, perhaps, but definitely not Cred.

What's next for these young people with too much money and too much free time? Professionally applied, artificial wrinkles? Silicone turkey waddles? Spider vein tattoos? Have at it, kids.

And as long as you're searching for Cred, how about tossing in a few faux night sweats, a bit of insomnia and some lovely bloating? Those would give you enough Cred to last a lifetime, or at least until you pass through menopause, at which time you can rail against your own daughter for wanting to be so different. So unique. So not.

And, as if that's not ridiculous enough -

Researchers at Brigham Young University discovered that when shopping in high heels, women were less likely to overspend. The higher the heel, the more cautious the spender. The researchers reasoned that having to concentrate on one's balance might trick the brain into making more "balanced" decisions. Indeed, participants who were asked to stand on one foot were more likely to buy a mid-priced TV.

I'm sure this has not been lost on the good folks at Best Buy. Soon, they will ban from their stores all women wearing high heels. Signs will be posted: "Sneakers Only! Violators Will Be Prosecuted." Lawsuits claiming discrimination will follow. This must be covered somewhere in the Constitution. Surely our forefathers thought ahead to the time when our land would be dotted with women shod in Jimmy Choos.

But, the upside could be huge. Picture, if you will, all members of Congress wearing custom-fitted stilettos. Don't you think John Boehner would look especially dapper in pink Kate Spades, standing on one foot on the floor of the House crying, "No, No! We can no longer afford those tax breaks for Exxon and the top 1% - we must be balanced!"?

Ah, research - it's not just for scientists any more.

- Rosie Sorenson

Rosie Sorenson is the award-winning author of They Had Me at Meow:Tails of Love from the Homeless Cats of Buster Hollow. Her work has appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, San Francisco Chronicle, San Jose Mercury News, Pittsburgh Tribune-Review and others. In 2007, she won an honorable mention in the Erma Bombeck Writing Competition.