Blogs

Every family really should take a nice, long road trip.

We decided to drive from our home state of Minnesota to Yellowstone National Park. This trip posed fear factors for each of us. First, there was no television or Internet, and our twin sons were certain they would perish from lack of electronics. Just the fact that we were all in a van together was enough to send our teenage daughter right over the edge.

There was the strong scent of sulfur in the air at Old Faithful, no fast food and when it got dark at night, you had to go to bed. Even if it was only 9 p.m. My husband, Steve, was so encouraging of this trip. "It will be so much fun," he said. "An adventure we'll always remember," he said.

Steve wanted to go horseback riding while we were there. He had researched the corral and made all the arrangements. Our three children were over the moon. I was glad to be horseback riding. I hadn't been for many years but was willing to get back in the saddle again. Steve was pretty happy to see us so excited. The trail boss explained where we would be riding, that the horses knew the trail and to just relax and enjoy the ride. And, oh...we would be gone for about 90 minutes. We were each paired with beautiful, laid-back horses. Steve, however, was given a Clydesdale named Mandan. Mind you, Steve has a 30" inseam. He cannot flex at the hip and his legs do not bend. Sometimes when he sits down, his legs go out in a "V" like an old Barbie doll. He hasn't tied his own shoes or put on socks in over 8 years. Now he was basically straddling an animal with a girth of a covered wagon.

He was at the end of the line on this gigantic workhorse. He was no longer smiling. Mandan didn't understand English. Mandan liked to back up instead of go forward. Mandan didn't want to stay on the trail and he didn't care if his rider was horrified. Mandan was a very naughty horse.

As we all proceeded on our trail ride, it was just the sound of the breeze and the rustle of the grasses. It was beautiful. The kids loved the natural setting and being in one of the most wonderful places on the planet. Quite a way behind me all I heard was Steve yelling, "MANDAN!" I was certain he was struggling. We were only 30 minutes into the ride.

At one point I looked back at Steve. His lips were white. He was sweating. His face was twisted in a comical grimace. "Oh, my gosh are you alright? Steve, are you having a heart attack?" I asked. "My. Legs. So much pain," was all he managed to squeak. I asked in jest if he was still having fun. All I got was attitude. Steve eventually was helped off the workhorse. He limped the rest of the trail, chewed a handful of Advil in the parking lot and had two stiff gin and tonics at the hotel. It was a great day.

Our next day adventure was a raft ride. My fear of water was about to surface. I told Steve I would be ok because "it's not like we're going down the Snake River, right?"

"Well, actually it IS the Snake River," Steve said with a grin. "It will be so much fun" he said. "An adventure we'll always remember" he said. And that it was.

- Barbara Scharfenberg

Barbara Scharfenberg is a professional stay-at-home mother. She remembers fondly how her own mom howled at the stories of Erma Bombeck and tries to evoke the same reaction with her writing. She resides in a small town west of Minneapolis, Minn. Her college-age daughter, twin teenage sons, husband and beloved Schnauzer provide her with great fodder. Her daily quips and snippets about real-life events can be read on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/BarbisBarb.