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Paul Lander

Paul_LanderPaul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of - winning the Nobel Peace Prize or sending Sudanese peace activist, Fatima Ahmed Ibrahim, to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of central Africa's indigenous people. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has worked as a writer and/or producer for shows on ABC, NBC, Showtime, The Disney Channel, ABC Family, VH1, LOGO and Lifetime. In addition, he's written standup material that's been performed on "Leno," "Letterman," "Conan" and "Last Comic Standing." His humor pieces have appeared in McSweeney's, The New Yorker, Santa Fe Writers Project Journal, Humor Times, The Higgs Weldon and Hobo Pancake.

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10 simple reasons today is awesome

1. I woke up this morning. 2. I arrived at work safely and only almost hit two cars on the way, but they deserved it. 3. I have a check to deposit in the bank meaning my banker will love me again and lift the block on my account. 4. I had an idea for a great story. 5. No laxative needed today. Pooped au natural. 6. My one knee-high stocking is still at knee level. 7. My one thigh-high orthopedic stocking is at knee level and has not rolled down to the ankle and then launched itself at any ...
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Instructions for my familywhile I'm in Dayton

My pack watches a lot of detective shows and courtroom dramas, so I have to be a bit more specific when I leave the seven of them home while I'm out of town than simply telling them to "Be good" and "Don't burn the house down." In hopes of covering every technicality and loophole, I leave a list of instructions: Call me only if there's an emergency. An emergency is when someone or something is on fire, or someone is bleeding profusely from the head. Pimples are not emergencies. The Xbox d ...
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