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(This essay first appeared in Not Your Mother's Book...On Being a Woman in October 2012. Reposted by permission of the author.)

"Darn, Robert Redford isn't quite as cute as he used to be! I just hate that." And I was adamant. It had been years since I'd seen Mr. Redford and didn't expect to such a drastic change in his appearance.

My husband, Jerry, and I were watching him being interviewed on television. A true sense of melancholy came over me when I realized he was no longer a young and handsome hunk. I much preferred to remember Redford's striking face in movies such as The Way We Were and The Sundance Kid.

The interview continued, but I only heard a few words here and there. My thoughts had turned to aging. If age could take a toll on the likes of Robert Redford, none of us was immune. Just how many people - men or women - are blessed with such terrific looks to begin with. If it could happen to him, we were all doomed - should we live long enough.

When the program ended, Jerry spoke up. "Well, you know none of us is as cute as we once were." He was so nonchalant that I was caught completely off guard. I sat on the foot of the bed in a daze and thought how much I despised those words.

Then it was time for my all-but-rehearsed and-often spouted spiel of how I don't feel any older; it's all a state of mind. We bantered back and forth, all in good fun, for several minutes. Just as I began to stand up, dear hubby made a very disturbing announcement. "Kathy, do you realize this year you will be twice the age you were when we met?"

I felt like someone had hit me right over the head with a cast-iron frying pan! I fell backwards onto the bed, covered my face with my hands and recall uttering a few sounds of agony at Jerry's uncalled-for remark. There are some things that shouldn't be said to a woman and/or wife! What was he thinking anyway?

I began doing some quick math in my head. Not liking the first results, I ran through the numbers again - the results were the same and they sucked!

"Oh darn - you're right, Jerry! However, that's the worst thing you've ever said to me in our entire married life," I shrieked, and I shrieked loudly! "I can't believe it. Don't you know when to keep your mouth shut? There are certain things best kept to yourself, and I suggest you remember that in the future! What is wrong with you anyway?"

He didn't say a word, but looked at me strangely. Perhaps he thought I was losing my marbles? Or, perhaps he was afraid to say one more word!

Still, I kept wondering; where did the years go so quickly? It didn't seem possible! I went to bed that night still obsessing over our conversation and Jerry's dim-witted remark. I tossed and turned! I flipped and flopped! Secretly, I hoped all my writhing about was keeping dear hubby awake as well. It was hours before I drifted off to sleep. Being twice the age of anything is a horrid thought, unless you're lucky enough to still be under the age of say, 15. What might be next? Would Jerry someday tell me I'm three times older than when we met? That could prove to be dangerous and I hoped he knew it.

I finally decided to look at the bright side of things before this revelation made me crazy. After several days, it finally struck me! Indeed, a bright side did exist. According to statistics, Jerry will probably never be able to say such a thing. Since he's six years older than I am, he will more than likely already be six feet under! If by chance he isn't, well, all I can say is he'd best never utter that dreaded three word. Should he do so, I'll be moving out.

Yes, it's as simple as that - three and I'm out! I'll pound on that call button as fast as my old, stiff fingers will allow. When the entire convalescent staff storms our room in panic, I'll demand they wheel me into the home's administration office. And then I'll demand a private room in a different wing - next door to Robert Redford.

- Kathleene S. Baker

Kathy Baker grew up in the small town of Augusta, Kansas, and all these years later, she insists you can take the kid out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the kid. She and her husband, Jerry, reside in Plano, Texas, which is part of the Dallas metroplex. As empty nesters, they share their lives and home with three canine fur kids: Hank, Samantha and Abby. She has edited many online newsletters and several books and been published in numerous newsletters, on websites, in newspapers, magazines and various anthologies, including Chicken Soup for the Soul and Not Your Mother's Book. Kathy is co-editor of Not Your Mother's Book...On Dogs and is currently working on Not Your Mother's Book...On Pets.