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"Aaaaannnd smile." Click.

"What are you taking a picture of?" asks the wife.

"Well, if you must know, I'm taking a picture of a check to send into the bank."

"Oh, and where did you get a check from? Did you see a picture of a job?"

"No," I assured her, "I don't go to those websites. The bank now only needs a picture of my paycheck. So, I'm sending in a selfie of me and my check. It's just like me being there, but with one less dimension. Apparently the sense of depth, which a piece of paper is short on anyway, is no longer a requirement at the bank."

"Their lack of a sense of depth in the first place is the only reason they let you open an account there, honey. Now how about I get a picture of you cutting the grass? Because it, unlike this conversation, has a lot of depth!"

Height, width and depth define our three-dimensional world. And depth is the least favorite dimension in this digital age. It's the lack of depth that makes our lives easier. We do a lot of our shopping with only two dimensions on our I- (me, you, someone else's) Pad. We see heights and width on the screen and, if we're interested in something, we choose "Description" and we read about it in depth.

I no longer hold books, magazines, catalogs and newspapers in my hands but view them on an illuminated flat screen.

I never lose the dice for my Monopoly game under the couch anymore now that I have an app for it. And it's the apps that have killed depth! Games, cookbooks, maps, CDs and other third-dimensional items are now all flat and wide and lacking in depth.

I don't play outdoor games with the grandkids anymore. If I run around in the three-dimensional world, I could possibly break a hip. They sit on my lap and play with the iPad. I can't remember the last time I played Angry Birds using real birds.

Television and commercials make us think we're not healthy if we have depth. When you turn sideways, you're barely supposed to cast a shadow. TV stars and models are dying at an alarming rate falling through the drain grates!

Having that third dimension just makes things heavy. My height and width are okay, but if I turn sideways to experience my depth, I look like a mama kangaroo with all the kids home!

Great works of literature, on my computer, once heavy because of depth created by many pages, now weigh the same as my favorite Scooby-Doo comic.

In heavy industry workers no longer climb up ladders and walk for miles to physically examine temperatures, pressures, input and output on gauges. They now sit in front of a bank of flat screens like Homer Simpson and maintain safety levels.

The only way to experience the third dimension nowadays is to pay big bucks at a movie theater and wear magical glasses to see a motion picture about some fantasy.

"What's that honey? You'll show me depth?" She's yelling something from upstairs. Something about placing her shoe up some ???side if I don't start cutting the grass. Well, I'd better get started then.

Excuse me while I remove a bit more depth from my three-D world.

- Bob Niles

Bob Niles, who answers to Robert, Bobby, Dad, Grandpa, Unit No.2 (his Dad could never remember all the children's names), honey and super hero, is new to writing but not to storytelling. "I like to make people laugh and to think, with a secret desire make them dance and send me untraceable $100 bills in the mail," says the happily married, retired father and grandpa from Richmond in British Columbia, Canada. He blogs here.