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If it happens to you, do you try to ignore it, laugh at it, or run and hide? Yeah, me, too.

When it happens to others it's plain annoying. Every time they move you hear it.

Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!

With every step you want to stomp on their toes. Or grease their shoes.

It happened to me today.

But not with the shoes. I have expensive shoes and take good care of them.

But when I got out of the car this morning, I heard it. That familiar annoying squeak.

I listened closely, without my ear on my feet to see where the noise was coming from.

It was a bit higher than the feet. And yet, every time I move, in any direction, up, down, left, right, there it is. A definite squeak!

I reach across my body, and there it is.

I lift my arm, and there it is.

I type on the keyboard, and there it is.

I move in any way, including breathing, and there it is.

Yes folks, my expensive, gorgeous, uplifting bra squeaks.

There. I have confessed.

I shall not oil it for fear of killing someone with the resulting explosion of human body parts.

I shall not wet it for fear that as it drips someone may drown.

I shall not remove it for fear of total embarrassment, not just to me but to anyone I may come in contact with today.

I will walk around squeaking proudly. I really have no other choice unless I want to install a radio or alarm or some other motion-activated noise maker that might drown out the squeak that emanates from my bra.

I am thankful that I do not have any meetings today. I don't have to see customers, or patients or physicians. See, there is always a reason to be thankful.

I shall sit at my desk, typing and squeaking to my bra's delight.

Stop by if you're around, and I will happily squeak for you. If not, be happy that you are not walking around today squeaking, unless you have squeaking shoes. Perhaps you should check BEFORE leaving the house.

FYI: There is a real, actual cause for squeaking bras.

I searched around and found that the squeaking sounds is caused by the underwires rubbing with each other or with the fabric. Often a "flat" (i.e., two-dimensional) underwire may squeak when trying to bend around a curved torso. If the torso is very curved, the underwire has to bend a lot, pulling on the fabric and squeaking in the taut tunnel. A squeaky bra is born.

- Wanda M. Argersinger

Born with a purse and lipstick in one hand and a pen in the other, Wanda Argersinger arrived in life with a very vivid imagination and the need to write. She moved to Florida with her family in 1959 and considers herself a Southerner, reveling in all the quirks, Bubbas, bar-b-ques and seafood of Southern life. She wrote Y-Mee's A B C Book of Emotions, Bare Elements: Stories of Women of the South and EB and the Ladies of the Bird Table Take Flight, a book published after the 2010 EBWW.